#38567 05-19-2005 02:39 PM | Joined: Apr 2005 Posts: 2,676 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | OP Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) Joined: Apr 2005 Posts: 2,676 | Has anyone on this site noticed a personality correlation between optimism and extreem bullheadedness? We will be driving 3 hrs each way to and from John's radiation treatments when they start next week. John has firmly implanted in his head that it is doable. The radiologist told him today that this driving schedule is NOT acceptible. During the 3 hr drive home today, I got a sermon on being negative because I had suggested that it might be smart to research inexpensive places to stay for the 4 days a week[x 6wks] during treatment. I admire my husband's gutty approach to beating this, but I am really afraid good judgement will lose out to stubbornness. Survivors,can you tell me the right approach to dealing with this topic?
CGtoJohn:SCC Flr of Mouth.Dx 3\05. Surg.4\05.T3NOMO.IMRTx30. Recur Dx 1\06.Surg 2\06. Chemo: 4 Cycles of Carbo\Taxol:on Erbitux for 7 mo. Lost our battle 2-23-07- But not the will to fight this disease
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#38568 05-19-2005 02:51 PM | Joined: Nov 2002 Posts: 3,552 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) Joined: Nov 2002 Posts: 3,552 | Well, we drove 60 miles each day to radiation in San Francisco which has some of the worst traffic in the US and that includes the Bay Bridge. But the comprehensive cancer center that I went to, I am sure, saved my life so it was worth it. I slept, my wife and other drivers drove, and I got through it. It was pretty miserable in the end but I never got sick or had any major issues in the car. My wife got me a sun shade for the window and that was a great help.
He may change his mind as things deteriorate.
Gary Allsebrook *********************************** Dx 11/22/02, SCC, 6 x 3 cm Polypoid tumor, rt tonsil, Stage III/IVA, T3N0M0 G1/2 Tx 1/28/03 - 3/19/03, Cisplatin ct x2, IMRT, bilateral, with boost, x35(69.96Gy) ________________________________________________________ "You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes" (James 4:14 NIV)
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#38569 05-19-2005 06:30 PM | Joined: Mar 2005 Posts: 58 Supporting Member (50+ posts) | Supporting Member (50+ posts) Joined: Mar 2005 Posts: 58 | At this point before the start of radiation treatmentit is very concerning. It is "the fear of the unknown" I was told many times at the cancer center I went to by the Oncologyst, the radiotion tech, the nurses etc. that my positive attitude was a big help. One thing that helped me was I had a long conversation with a onc. and expressed my fears and that I was determined that I would not suffer any of the side effects that was so carefully described to me. At the end of the conversation as a joke I asked him if I could call him a lier if my determination held and none of the detrimental side effects occured. He laughed and replied definately and if I did we would go to lunch. That is where they have good soup. After my last treatment we went to lunch, and shared a good laugh. Your husbands determination will go a long ways to the positive. Keep positive thoughts and everything will be all right. Best of luck and gon't give up
Hacklene
Hacklene
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#38570 05-19-2005 06:42 PM | Joined: Mar 2003 Posts: 1,384 Likes: 1 Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) Joined: Mar 2003 Posts: 1,384 Likes: 1 | Oh sure now I'm bull-headed!
I drove to every one of my treatments and then went to work afterword. I would not have enjoyed a 3 hour tour to get there and back however. If you can find a place and it is affordable then I think that is a good idea. As the treatments progress he may need pain medications that could affect his ability to drive safely.
Stubborn positive attitude is a good thing. (by the way that is different than an angry, defensive, bad attitude.)
Mark, 21 Year survivor, SCC right tonsil, 3 nodes positive, one with extra-capsular spread. I never asked what stage (would have scared me anyway) Right side tonsillectomy, radical neck dissection right side, maximum radiation to both sides, no chemo, no PEG, age 40 when diagnosed.
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#38571 05-20-2005 02:05 AM | Joined: Feb 2005 Posts: 2,019 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) Joined: Feb 2005 Posts: 2,019 | My husband is both an extreme optimist and extremely bullheaded (note he is the caretaker and I am the one with the cancer so it's a bit different in how it plays out in relation to cancer). I can get extremely frustrated with the bullheaded part but his optimism is something I often need. You have to take the good with the bad sometimes, it's a package.
SCC(T2N0M0) part.glossectomy & neck dissect 2/9/05 & 2/25/05.33 IMRT(66 Gy),2 Cisplatin ended 06/03/05.Stage I breast cancer treated 2/05-11/05.Surgery to remove esophageal stricture 07/06, still having dilatations to keep esophagus open.Dysphagia. "When you're going through hell, keep going"
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#38572 05-20-2005 02:43 AM | Joined: Jul 2003 Posts: 1,163 Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) Joined: Jul 2003 Posts: 1,163 | I hate driving anywhere three hours one way! It can be done but I ask the question why? He may feel different as he goes through rad. I would remove that stress by staying close by.
Best Wishes, Danny Boy
Daniel Bogan DX 7/16/03 Right tonsil,SCC T4NOMO. right side neck disection, IMRT Radiation x 33.
Recurrance in June 05 in right tonsil area. Now receiving palliative chemo (Erbitux) starting 3/9/06
Our good friend and loved member of the forum has passed away RIP Dannyboy 7-16-2006
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#38573 05-20-2005 10:03 AM | Joined: Apr 2005 Posts: 2,676 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | OP Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) Joined: Apr 2005 Posts: 2,676 | Thank you all for your responses. One of the things I need to change about myself during this time is my desire to able to schedule things and control my time. The DOCs are in control now and I just need to go with the flow. John is better at that than I am. Amy
CGtoJohn:SCC Flr of Mouth.Dx 3\05. Surg.4\05.T3NOMO.IMRTx30. Recur Dx 1\06.Surg 2\06. Chemo: 4 Cycles of Carbo\Taxol:on Erbitux for 7 mo. Lost our battle 2-23-07- But not the will to fight this disease
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#38574 05-20-2005 10:26 AM | Joined: Sep 2003 Posts: 1,244 Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) Joined: Sep 2003 Posts: 1,244 | Hi Amy I suggest you research the costs anyway, maybe the hospital will have some suggestions, then if he cannot cope with the drive just act supprised but very knowledgeable... Sunshine... love and hugs Helen
SCC Base of tongue, (TISN0M0) laser surgery, 10/01 and 05/03 no clear margins. Radial free flap graft to tonsil pillar, partial glossectomy, left neck dissection 08/04
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#38575 05-20-2005 08:47 PM | Joined: Feb 2005 Posts: 2,019 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) Joined: Feb 2005 Posts: 2,019 |
SCC(T2N0M0) part.glossectomy & neck dissect 2/9/05 & 2/25/05.33 IMRT(66 Gy),2 Cisplatin ended 06/03/05.Stage I breast cancer treated 2/05-11/05.Surgery to remove esophageal stricture 07/06, still having dilatations to keep esophagus open.Dysphagia. "When you're going through hell, keep going"
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#38576 05-20-2005 10:19 PM | Joined: Nov 2002 Posts: 3,552 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) Joined: Nov 2002 Posts: 3,552 | To put that in perspective 3 hours is half the distance between San Francisco and Los Angeles (assuming that you're driving 90 mph on I5). 2 tanks of gas @ $35.00/tank - Motel 6 is looking better all the time. Maybe the local American Cancer Society or hospital social worker can score you a better deal.
What about a mercy flight?
Gary Allsebrook *********************************** Dx 11/22/02, SCC, 6 x 3 cm Polypoid tumor, rt tonsil, Stage III/IVA, T3N0M0 G1/2 Tx 1/28/03 - 3/19/03, Cisplatin ct x2, IMRT, bilateral, with boost, x35(69.96Gy) ________________________________________________________ "You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes" (James 4:14 NIV)
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