Hi Herson....

My Dad has oral cancer. I know what you mean about having a lot of anger. I could list all the reasons that I'm angry, but that would take too long.

Sometimes when I feel angry I have to turn my focus on what I have to be thankful about. That list is longer than my angry list. You may want to try it and see if it helps.

How is your mom doing?

Joy

Herson,
I suspect you're not much older than my daughter, Megan. She's 23 and she is the one that is so angry about all of this. She's big on keeping journals and writes all her feelings down and then will make sure she leaves it where I can find it and read it. We communicate that way. He anger overwhelms me sometimes and I wish I could help her get rid of it, but it's how she feels. Her biggest problem seems to be that she doesn't have anything or anyone to BE angry at to SHOW her anger to or to take it out on. I think she's dealign with it very maturly and will work her way through it but I just wanted you to know that you're not alone with your feelings. I'm 46 and for her to see me, who is a very young 46,go through this plain and simply pisses her off!

Joy ..

moms is okay, cancer has come back but in her neck, only got confirmed 2 weeks ago .. before this we thought it was all clear .. its been a year since her surgery .. n now this .. there might be traces of cancer in her lungs ..but they plan on running more tests ..


Minniea ..just turned 25 .. i dont talk about it .. jus walk around with it .. im close with my mom but i just cant talk about it, im there, i experience it all but i dont speak about it with mom .. ..

she says this is life ..

Herson,

Sorry to hear that you mom is going through this again. This is a good place to talk about things if you don't want to talk to your mom about it.

Please keep us posted.

Joy

Herson,
If you can't talk about it with your mom honey, have you thought about talking with others that are on your side of it, such as my daughter or another person whose mother has cancer? It's tough keeping all those feelings in. If you are ever interested in talking, email my daughter, Megan, at [email protected]
I bet she would LOVE to have someone to express herself with, she works hard at staying upbeat and optimistic with me. Would do you both good to talk it out maybe??
Minnie

Hi Herson. I'm also 25 and watching my dad (60) go through this. Feel free to contact me. [email protected]

Good luck.

Herson,
I am here for you. My mom is 60 also.... Feeling like you are responsible for your parent's life and well being is harder than I ever imagined. Send me a PM if you want to talk. You and all of the caregivers here are in my thoughts and prayers, along with all of the people we care for every day.

Amy

I just had my check up and it turn out OK. I had chest X-ray scope down the nose. Dealing with the fear of it coming back for me fades in and out, while one is having a good time living the life to its fullest, the site or the feel of a tumor, can put one right back in toilet, I think its because of what we all went threw the first time, the thought of doing it again, or even hearing about someone getting it back makes me angry, and there is nothing wrong with being angry, sad or whatever else goes along with it.
Hearing my Doctor tell me the first time you have cancer, sent emotions flying all over the place. Hearing a second time I think would be somewhat the same as the first. I have a good freind who cancer has come back she is going chemo again having very hard time of it. Just buried another on Monday. I went fishing today, while I was out there I just came overwhelmed with emotions cried for about hour, I think it just all catches up then comes flowing out, I didn,t get any fish but I did feel better.

I am so scared. I am 21 years old. In fact, I only celebrated my 21st birthday very recently. I am going to see a dentist at my earliest convenience. I have not been yet, so I have not been diagnosed with anything. Yet. I have a single white bump on the side of my tongue, and several red bumps on the surface of my tongue. As well as a white coating on my tongue. The possibility of being diagnosed with oral cancer has scared me into diarrhea.
I pray and pray that it is something else.I thought that I was relatively unafraid of death, until I discovered he may be in my near future.
How do you guys deal with the fear, the uncertainty? Life is so unfair. I never smoked, I never drank. Life is so unfair. I wish I at least had a shoulder to cry on. I am a young, black man, and I am supposed to be tough, and never scared. Well guess what? I fell like crying and bawling and not give a shit who sees me.
I wait most impatiently to hear what the dentist will say. Please pray for me.

Hey Scared,

Other people will get on here soon and tell you that you need to get to the dentist or an ENT (ear, nose, throat doctor) as soon as possible -- like today even. There are a lot of things that look like oral cancer, but aren't. I pray you have one of those. But even as I'm praying, I'm warning you:

Your dentist will probably think that it CAN'T be cancer because you are so young. It can be. My son was 21 when he was diagnosed. He had never smoked and rarely drank, and that made his doctor even more sure it couldn't be cancer. Two months went by with my son's regular doctor prescribing this and that before the day he could feel the tumor.

So get to the dentist. Listen to what he/she has to say. If they say it is not cancer -- GREAT!! But if it's still there after two weeks, go back, or make an appointment with an ENT and insist on a biopsy.

Come back here or PM me and let me know what happens, k?

-darcy (Matt's mom)