I went to my Gp on fri and he decided that the lymph node near my jaw had to be removed. SO they called my surgeon and I went there Fri afternoon...Now they arent sure if it is a lymph node or somthing in my Jaw.UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh It is about the size of one of those large marbles. so I have to have a Ct scan. but it was like 5 pm when I finished with the Dr and they never called today to give me the appointment and when I called them they hadnt done it yet . CAN I JUST GO TO SLEEP NOW AND YOU WAKE ME WHEN IT IS OVER ? I really think I am starting to lose my mind. My good friend ( or so called) had a baby thurs came home fri and on sat at like 2-3 am ended up back in hospital baby stopped breathing. they called me at 430n am but I never heard phone as I had increase my meds acooring to Dr and I hadnt slept in 2 days so i was OUT . Then when I talked to them ( still not knowing ) they told me and told me I couldnt come over to hospital they would call me ..NEVER DID >I cant tell you all I do an have done for them. the baby was moved to albany med ( before they were less then 5 min from my houes)now an hr away.she calls me sun during my 8 year olds bday party..an tell me how her couisn "DROVE ALL THE WAY DOWN " when she found out ( to the one near my house) and NOthing kept her away ! I was P******* and HURT and Informe her that her husband Blatently told me not once but twice not to come there ( as I fin out now alot of others there) The same husband who went home and got himself 5-6 outfits and her nothing .she was hinting for me to run her kids between the adults that were taking them ..uhmmmm hello they are adults with vehicles and all close to an hour away from me . they are like 20 min from each other ! And then wanted me to leave my daughters party to come down ...The baby is fine I guess an stable and they were leaving the hospital to eat . I guess I feel so taken advantage off ..she even knew what was going on with me health wise and that mentally i was going through alot ..either way lymph node or jaw...surgery is in my futire. And when I think about it ...she lives 2 minutes from me ..when I had my BIG surgery she never came to hospital and didnt even come to see me till i was home for over a week. soooooo with all of this going on ..not doing so well ...very teary eyed and just wanting to figure away to get through it all ..and not nessacarilly have it all about me ..unless that is ok ..just soooooo overwhelemed right now.


shar

Some people can't deal with cancer...they just can't. they put you, and it on ignore, and come back to the relationship when the disease is all gone.

I had several familily members completely sever contact with my during my illness. It hurt enormously, enough that now I want nothing to do with them again. I understand it was a lack of their ability to cope, but it doesn't make it any easier to deal with.

Your emotions are high, so are theirs. Maybe you just need to step away from them for a while. Look after you, and worry about less important stuff later. Right now, everything but your health is "small stuff"

Put it all in the "small stuff" bin, and deal with it when you're ready. Until then...get through the day, then get through tomorrow. Everything else will fall in line
Wayne

Sharlee,

Best of luck with the CT scan. Don't let this person get you down. I have a friend who also seems to "forget" empathy for others when they are in need...she called to complain last week. Her husband had been sick for a week in bed and was on 2 antibiotics, she had a sore back so her 9 month old was being fussy and her husband had not bothered to do anything for her first Mother's Day (even when he was well enough to return to work later in the week). Do you really want, or need to say, I can top you on that???

One thing I'm learning with my husband's cancer, a feisty daughter in her terrible twos and six month old who doesn't need to sleep is that some people are there for you, while others will always need something from you even when it's pretty obvious you've got more than enough on your plate as is. You deserve a pat on the back for not venting it out on her and doing it on this forum. You are a class act and it shows.

Take care,

Elaine

Sharlee, I concentrate on this forum. It keeps me going. I am constantly reading the many posts in this forum. Any questions, I have I vent here. We were told to do that by several members. Put more time into this forum and forget the so called friends. You are NUMBER 1 and you have concerns (not to mention trying to cope with this devastating disease) Chin up, listen to your doctors and keep reading the posts in this forum. Strangely they become you NEW found friends in time. They are the ones here for you. Carol....

Sharlee,

Take a couple of deep breaths and calm down. You are not doing anything good by getting yourself worked up. We all want this nightmare to go away but it's better to just confront it head on and make the best of it.

As far as your "friends", just remember you are highly emotional right now so everything can and will be blown way out of proportion.

Oh Sharlee--you poor thing! With all you've gone through, you're BOUND to feel down--but I've read your posts to many members and you're a kind, funny caring person who must have helped a lot of others, so just have a good sob for now, take the meds and concentrate on yourself. Being strong all the time is HARD!--I brought up twins single-handedly, worked full-time, was carer to my mum thro her cancer, then my dad with Pagett's disease--and now my future aint looking too good, either! You'll bounce back, because it's obvious from your posts you always have, but my theory is you're allowed to feel pretty lousy and drop the facade at times, have a bawl and dust yourself off when you're ready--ignoring needy others if need be, at this point in time!
Brenda

I have decided that nobody knows the feelings and needs of a cancer patient better than one who has experienced this terrible disease. Others try, but there is no way that they can understand how it weighs on our minds. You have to accept that fact, and appreciate the efforts people make to be sensitive. Ditto for the toughtless, selfish friend. She simply can't imagine your problems, so she can't put herself into your shoes. She feels that her particular challenges are comparable, and she has no idea how far off she is. Don't lose a friendship over it,and don't stop communicating with your non-cancer friends, but do cultivate a few who are willing to learn and to understand, and stay in touch here with those wyo REALLY understand. You need both!

Sharlee, my [very wise] Dad told me early in life that I would need to learn to "pick my battles wisely and pick my friends even more wisely" You know what your battle is right now. Amy in the Ozarks

Thank you all so much ..this is soooooo hard , yet you all alreay know that ..I do not want another surgery ,,yet who does and I have to do what I have to do. I hate that my friend had to go through this..even more that she wants to chose when my visits would be convinent, of course now that i suggested that being the baby was fine the husband sleep at home an save them $150 then go back in the am ..I am insensitive and she wont speak to me . I have found out from her family baby is fine and they were coming home today. I know that now has to be about me ..I guess that is my problem I dont know how to make it aboout me ! And you are all right ,,we find out who are true friends are and even then they dont have a clue..some just try harder then others to understand. I start counseling tomorrow ..my gp thought it best...I have been pretty goo through most of this ..But Now I am starting to struggle.so I guess it is time ...Thanks so much to all of you for being there u are really are a big help and a main reason I have gotten through this so far!

I hope you're feeling better about your friend, when it rains, it pours. I'm praying for you that your scan comes back good with no need for surgery. Based on what I've seen of you on this forum, I'm willing to bet my left lug nut that you are a great friend. You have an awesome personality, I wish there were people like you around.