I'm 2 months out from my last radiation (Dec 20, 2006) and I've had doom and gloom thoughts. I wanted to do nothing and I've had outburst of anger which has affected my friendships and marriage. It's terrible and I hate being this way. I saw my Doc at U of M, Michigan and after asking me a few questions she said I'm suffering from depression. I was perscribed Zoloft. I've just begun taking it , I truly hope it will help me out of this. I need all my energy to keep myself going. Thanks for this board so I can just talk about whats going on.

Bob
What you are feeling is completely normal, don`t be too hard on yourself you have just been through Hell.
Ask your wife to log in maybe we can help her get thru this sressful time. Just remember it can take a couple of weeks for the Zoloft to take effect.
Take care of yourself.
Marica

bobd,

It's good that you are seeking treatment for depression. It's something we all deal with and it comes in waves or cycles for me. I'd like to say it goes away, but I don't know if it will or won't. This week has been especially bad for me. But I press on and try to treat everyday that I'm alive and with my family as a gift from God. We really aren't in control here all we can do is try to live healthier, follow the advice of our doctors, hope and pray this beast doesn't come around again. I hope the medication works out for you and gives you back your energy to keep you going.

Bobd,

I had similar sx at about the same point. It seems like nutrition played a big role. I upped my protein and took the l-carnatine recommended here. Helped a lot...

Hi Bobd,

Sorry you are going through this but as stated above we all do.

I think part of it is that we expected to feel better at 2 month or more. Instead you are dealing with all the after effects and pain. This brings us down into the depression.

Make sure you are getting the pain medicine you need and lot of nutrition and liquids. The is a long recovery and it take time. You will start seeing improvements around 3 mo. Hang in there you will have good and bad days. When I was feeling real bad I use to avoid talking and such. I watched TV until I could quote all the commercials, and I felt Oprah and Dr. Phil were relatives.

Try and take one day at a time. Read all you can here on OCF it will help.

Take care,
Diane

Thanks all of you. I can't tell you how much your replies mean to me. I don't feel so alone. God Bless you all.

Bob - you are not alone in all of this and what you are feeling is normal. My husband finally gave into the depression after he broke down in front of the doctor. It was one of the first things she told us to watch for after he completed his treatment. She told him that 75% of her patients suffer from depression post treatment. He is now on Wellbutrin and is doing good - she told him that he would be on them for at least 6 months. It also helps with the appetite. Good Luck - as our radiation doc told us - "we almost kill you to cure you" - be strong, take deep breaths and stay in touch with us.
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CG to husband,Dx 04/06 StageIV,scc left tonsil, 3 lymph nodes-35XIMRT-35Xcisplatin/tarceva-neck dissection 11/06-HPV positive

bobd, I would like to add that you also watch your wife closely, and talk to her about how she is dealing with all of this, because from a caregiver's perspective, watching your loved one fight this can be very scary experience. Remember, you both are going through this battle!
Be truthful together and that will make you both stronger. Amy in the Ozarks

Hi Bobd,

The depression after treatment ends was one of the few times that my husband and family didn't understand me and my feelings. As caregivers, they were ready to move on, it was OVER, I was better, door shut. But for the patient, it's not that simple as it's our life that we were fighting to save, every day with treatment.........and now treatment was done. And we're so tired from the physical effects, the emotional effects, we want to feel better and were expecting to feel better and that doesn't happen. It was one of the few times that I didn't have the energy to put the feelings of my family first, mine were swallowing me up and I simply couldn't think of anyone but myself. It was short lived but very intense.
Ride it out, talk to your doctor about it and KNOW that it's normal.
Good luck,
Minnie

Hi Bobd,

I had a similar situation to yours and was treated with the same medication. It does take a few weeks to work, but when it kicks in it just takes the edge off everything. It doesn't turn you into a different person, just stops you worrying about unnecessary things.

I also found it very helpful to keep a daily diary (which I don't normally) to try and keep track of how I was doing. It was reassuring to read back and prove to myself that I was definitely improving in my eating and mood, even if it was very gradual.

Also, you might try and get out of the house once a day for a short walk. I found that helped too.
Redser.