I am now told I have to have 12 hour surgery. I don't think I will make it at 54 but am scared to tell my husband. Am scared, so scared. have you guys made it through this long of a surgery.

12 hours is fairly common for this type of procedure. Some have even longer times on the table. Even cosmetic plastic surgery procedures can take 12 hours or more. Most of us are in our mid 50's (or I was at Dx). Trust me - you'll make it. Being scared comes with the territory get some help for that - and don't forget to breath...

I'm sure you are so scared. Who wouldn't be? No, I didn't go through 12hrs. of surgery (mine was 6) so I can't help you there. But, you will get through this. What are you getting done in surgery, and are they waiting till after you finish radiation? Just curious. One more thing, you know you have to talk to your husband, you need to. Sounds like you really need him at this time. We all need someone we can talk to and cry to when going through this. I wish I could help more. Take care, take a deep breath, and after all this sinks in Fight this beast! My thoughts and prayers are with you. Linda

As Gary has said, long surgeries are not uncommon and 54 is actually young. You are not a high surgical risk at your age. Get some anti-anxiety medication immediately- you need something to help you calm down. Start with the short acting ones like xanax or ativan and if you need to progress to zoloft that can be added, it just takes a few weeks to really kick in.

Talk to your husband - it's not a good thing to leave him out of what you are feeling. That won't make you feel any better. This is the part about how we're there for each other in good times and bad.
Regards JoAnne

Peace,

Not only is 12-hour surgery pretty common for this type of procedure, it is necessary for your doctors to accomplish what needs to be done. Remember, you're not even aware of time when it's going on. This probably sounds weird, but having had several surgical procedures over the years, I've found it fairly relaxing once I see the anesthesiologist come in to put me under -- once that IV goes in it's physically impossible to worry.

For most of us who have had major head and neck surgery, seeing it written up on paper ahead of time looked scary. However, when mine was all over, it didn't feel nearly as bad as the description led me to believe. As several of us have said before, your medical team should be helping you to manage your anxiety now, as well as managing any pain after the operation.

You can do this.

Cathy

Peace --

In addition to the wise advice posted above, encourage your husband to get on this site. Learning what others in situations similar to yours have encountered will help him understand what you will be going through.

In addition, family members and caregivers have their own concerns, and this is the place to address them.

Have you determined where your treatment is being done? If you ended up at UVa or another CCC (VCU in Richmond is the other one in Virginia), they will have people on staff who have worked with many, many patients in your position and are devoted to helping you through all of this.

All the best,
Leslie

Thanks for your input, I am no familiar with medicine and thought 12 hours was a litle much but you guys say no. Makes it a little better. Did you have pain when you first woke up? I am showing my husband this sight, but I have a hard time finding what I posted. Quess I will get used to it.
blessings to you all today

Peace,

I had little or no pain when I woke up. The doctors and nurses who deal with this kind of cancer also know what sorts of pain medication are needed to help patients get through the recovery period. Mostly what I remember was being groggy and trying to get used to the tubes that were in me. When you're coming out of major surgery like this, you're monitored very closely, especially for the first 24-48 hours, to be sure you're stable and can rest as much as possible.

Cathy

Peace, my husband has been through 2 major surgeries for cancer in the last 2 years. He did not [was not allowed to] feel much pain while in the hospital, and his memory of those stays is pretty foggy. I kept a daily journal while he was in the hospital and much of what I wrote, he doesn't remember. It is important to have someone who knows you well with as much as possible, but if you are in a good hospital and have a good Doc, I don't think you will be allowed to hurt. Chin Up, gal. You can do this! Amy

Peace,

The last thing I said to my wife, daughter and son just before they wheeled me into surgery was, "Now I've got the easy part, I'll be asleep through this, you guys have to wait it out". Trust me, 3 hours (mine) or 12 hours (yours) makes no difference, you'll wake up with plenty of pain medication in you. Never hesitate to ask for more if you need it. I think the most asked question I got from my nurses was "are you in any pain?".

Good luck, you'll do fine.

Jerry