I spent 14 days in hospital in early June following 17 hrs of surgery for a stage 3 SCC of my lower jaw. Jaw resection, fibula removed from left leg for donor bone, free flap from left forearm to rebuild my mouth, skin grafts from my thigh to fill in the hole in my arm. All nodes clear (56 total) margins good, but they're doing 33 treatments over 6 weeks as a precaution.

I suffered a great deal post surgery both physically and emotionally, and I really don't know how I will make it through the radiation. It scares me worse than the surgery did, and that's saying a lot.

I know a lot of it is fear of the unknown, but I don't know how much more of this I can handle emotionally
Wayne

Wayne,
when they gave me the surgical option (which they didn't really recommend) that scared the crap out of me - 14 hrs fileted like a fish in the OR) no thank you!

Radiation was no walk in the park but you can get through it one day at a time. I am not embarrased to admit that I took anti-anxiety meds all through treatment and they helped me a lot to cope with things. You won't feel a thing during the radation treatment itself. It's more of the after effects of the radiation that will cause the most problems, but you just deal with them as they come. You'll have everything from fair days to horrific ones so just roll with it and you'll be fine. The worst part will be over in about 2 months (and you should have about 2-3 weeks before that even starts). So figure on 1 1/2 months of the worst part then it gets better steadily from there. By time 6 months passes you'll be feeling a whole lot better (and cancer free). Keep your focus on the horizon and your new cancer free life.

Wayne,

You are so lucky to have found this site before you start radiation. Here you will be able to find information that will help you through it.

I did not find this forum until 2 1/2 months out of treatment. I felt real bad then, I did not think I could take anymore. I was never told what was going to take place after treatment. The information here helped me make it through.

I am now at 6 months and like Gary said starting to feel better. I had to learn to take one problem at a time. I had so many little problems I thought it would drive me crazy!

Thanks to everyone here I am doing better.
Take care and keep reading.
Diane

Thanks Gary & Diane. I just got the call a 1/2 hour ago. August 9th is "D" Day. Now I've got another 10 days to fret about it. The waiting is driving me out of my mind, I wish there was something, anything I could do to make it just be done with
Wayne

Hi Dragan,

It will be no fun. But you just have to go through it one treatmetn at a time. Some days will be better than others. About 3/4s of the way through, you will want to quit, but you must keep it up. Make sure your skin is well hydrated. Xclair and biofine helped me a lot. But really, there is nothing to be afraid of. It doesn't hurt, it's just uncomfortable in the mask. Yourskin will get burnt, but with pain meds and xclair or biofine, it will heal quickly.

Steve

Wayne, Are you eating [swallowing?] now? Have you talked about getting a peg just in case? The radiation is tough - usually starting about the 3rd week- but you have alot of people here to help you get through it. Do you have a support system at home? If you have answered the above previously, I apopogize. I dont remember reading them. Amy

I am here to tell you that you will make it through! My dad finished his 30 radiation treatments 5 weeks ago and he is doing so much better! Yes it was a rough go. It hit hard about week 3 and he wanted to quit. The main thing I can tell you is to get pain meds. Also the peg would be a good idea before radiation starts as a back up plan for nutrition and hydration. Also keep looking to the future because like I said my dad is doing a lot better now and I can see his strength improving every day. Try to put some extra weight on in the next 10 days and know that you can do it and you're not alone!

Amy, I am swallowing, and I've been working really hard at putting on some extra weight I've managed to put on 9 pounds in the past three weeks (no small feat for a guy who normally wieghs around 130)

My primary support is my wife ( a HUGE help) and my kids. My Mother and sisters have decided to choose this time to attack my wife for imagined slights over the years, so that part of the support network is gone, and the attendant stress has not helped at all.

I'm trying really hard to keep positive, it's just really getting to me this past week or so. Thanks for the encouragement!
Wayne

Hi Wayne, Im Linda and I too am fixing to start my radiation treatments on August 7th. All I can suggest is you read everything you can on it from here and let all these wonderful people help you get through this, and if you have a question, ask here, no matter what it is, someone will be able to answer you. I totally understand the waiting, thats how i am. I just want to start this so it will be over and life can go on. Good Luck and lets keep in touch, maybe we can learn from each other.

Wayne,

I had the same surgery as you, had half of my lower jaw replaced with a bone from my leg, a little over three years ago. I didn't have any skin grafts though as the tumor was contained in the jaw. I also did a full course of radiation and walked through it............even if I was dragging near the end! I wasn't aware how sick it was going to make me, I found this site after treatment ended, so it took me by surprise. BUT, I took it day by day and made myself focus on getting through radiation, nothing else. I would suggest a PEG tube since you are a smaller build, I had one and would have been in trouble without it. Nutrition is so important to the healing process and it takes months to heal.
Are you having standard radiation or IMRT radiation? That also makes a difference in the side effects and the long term effects.
Sorry to hear about your mom and sisters, certainly isn't the time for all that. Put it out of your head and focus on the treatments. The simulation can be scary as they make the mask that you will wear for each treatment, so if you don't like being confined ask for an anxiety med to take before the simulation. The first week of treatments had me leaving there with my knees shaking, being confined like that shook me up pretty badly. By the middle/end of treatments, I could have fallen asleep on the table. We adjust. Take it one week at a time. I put a calender up on my fridge and crossed off each day after I came home from treatment. Seemed to work for me and I still have that calender!
Keep us posted so we can help.
Minnie