Today is my niece's 6th birthday and her daddy can't be here because Oral Cancer stole him from us. Please pray for her - it's her first birthday without him - and for her mother, and, although I know it's selfish, for me. This is a horrible day.

God and time heals all wounds..... Prayers are answered you and your niece is in ours. We christians are an odd lot, we believe in the immortality of the soul, so if you are a christian you know that your brother is in a place where there is no PAIN or SUFFERING and someday you will be reunited.
Yours in Christ
Darrell

Well said Darrell!
Ditto here and Tonya may we soon someday find a cure so little girls/boys can grow up and grow old with their mommys and daddys!
You and your family are in my prayers.......

Tonya,

Please wish your niece a happy birthday from me.

I know how much you all miss David. It's never selfish to ask your friends to pray for you.

Jerry

Tonya
I will celebrate my birthday soon with out my Mom for the first time and shit I'm 57 and cannot deal, so my heart goes out to you and your niece and all the family..Talk about the good times it helps me, both to remember them and to keep them with you.
May your God walk with you..
Sunshine.. love and hugs
Helen

Thank you all. She had a little birthday party with her classmates after school and she had a good time. I think I managed to keep my tears from her although I bawled all day at school. (I'm a teacher and I'm sure my kids thought I had gone off the deep end, as usually happens to teachers in the spring.) My sister, too, assured me we will see David again, he just got to heaven before us. I just miss him so. My son just bought his first vehicle - a 1967 Chevy pickup and I know my brother would love it. I'm sad he can't be here to help Brandon, as restoring old vehicles and tinkering with them was one of his joys in life, but I know he's giving us a "two thumbs up" from heaven for picking a classic. After his surgery, when he could no longer speak, he would always give us the two thumbs up when we asked how he was. This will be a long life without him and yes, I am a Christian, but when I die if I find out this Heaven thing is a crock, I'm going to be kicking someone's (#$$!!!!!!!
I know, that was probably sacreligious, but I can't help but think that sometimes. It's like all hopes are pinned on it and at time like these it's so hard to put all your trust into something you can't confirm. I guess I'm still down from putting all my hope and faith in a miracle and cure and getting the rug jerked out from under us. Sorry if I sound angry - I still am sometimes, but I know it's not what you need to hear. The important think is that his little girl did well today and I will just have to grow up and deal with this better. My sister is a "cup half-full" person and is so grateful for the 5 years David had with her. Being the "cup half empty" sister, I just see all the time ahead without him and all the memories that will never be made. Maybe I should take a drink from her cup sometime.
Bless you all,
Tonya

Tonya,

Everytime I read your posts they bring tears to my eyes...I know how important the little lives are that are affected by this diesese. I was 4 months pregnant with my 2 1/2 year old daughter when my mom was diagnosed and I had so much stress from the ups and downs of the diesese. Keeley my daughter is my mom's first grandchild and she begged for years for a grandchild (I was 35 when I had her) The first thing my mom said to the doctor when she got her diagnosis was "but I'm going to be a gramma!"
My biggest concern was that Keeley know her gramma and know what a truly special person she is. We have been fortunate that she has been cancer free for 2 1/2 years and Keeley spends lots of time with gramma.
Please wish your little niece a Happy Birthday for me I am sure her Daddy is looking down on you all during all the special times.

Hugs,
Dani

Toyna, have you read "When Bad things happen to Good People" ? You will help your family most of all when you can get to that cup 1\2 full feeling. Rember- Life is for the living and good memories of those who are no longer with us. Amy

Dear Tonya,

Sometimes words alone can't convey how we really feel inside. This is one of those times for me. Six years old is a very young age to have endure a birthday without your Father and try to understand why.
I hope time will help heal the pain you are both feeling now.

All my Best, Danny Boy

Thank you all. Today is the "family" party to celebrate her birthday. I know David will be there in spirit.

DaniO,
I'm so happy your mother is still with you. Her love and the time she spends with your daughter will, like my brothers, help shape the little one's future and make her who she is meant to be. I have to remember...those pieces the child will carry with them forever. My niece has my brother's love for adventure and seems to have very little fear of things - this is both good and bad! - but he lives on in her and she will be a strong adult because of it. Well, got to go know and clean up these tears and get ready for a party.
Thank you all, my friends,
Tonya

Hi Tonya,
I feel your grief and it seems like the pain is unbearable. My daughter just turned six too and my husband passed away on Thanksgiving last year of stage 4 tongue cancer. Parties and events will not seem normal for a while.
My husband's last party that he celebrated with us was my son's 3rd party in October. He was in a lot of pain and made an appearance for an hour, which I am so grateful he did.
Now he's in heaven celebrating with Jesus. For all the suffering he endured, I am so glad he is resting comfortably now.
I feel your pain and will forever speak out for early intervention of oral cancer.
Lisa

Thank you Lisa. All my best to you and your family.

Tonya,
Same to you. Your niece will be grateful that she stills has a caring Aunt and family who loves her very much. Keep close to her for your brother. You sound like a loving sister and aunt. God bless you and your family through your loss as well.
Lisa

Tonya,
I believe it is our obligation to keep the memory alive of those we love. Did you light a candle for her Dad? Or sit in a circle for 5 minutes and share stories of him with his daughter? It's important to help start some sort of ritual for your neice to remember her Dad. Afterall, if you teach her how to remember someone, she will know what to do when it is her turn to help others remember a loved one.
Also, remembering him will bring all of you a sense of comfort.
Eva

My question is morbid, but I feel the need to know.....Alisa and Tonya....you both have lost loved ones at a young age from oral cancer. My husband is 36 and was diagnosed with stage 4 tonsil cancer in Sept., I was 8 months pregnant with our first baby. I am very afraid of recurrence, etc. I want him to see Evan grow up and we get so upset when we talk of the future. It's always "this may be the last....I know that sounds aweful, but I guess it's human nature for him to feel that way. Not all times are sorrowful however, we laugh and goof off a great deal as well.

I guess my question is HOW did your loved ones ultimately succumb to this dreadful disease? I realize everyone is different, but my husband is so young and has never smoked. Your loved ones were as well. Is there any advice you can give me? Things to look out for? We have a follow-up June 25 and no mention of scans of any sort. I'm so uptight and worried all the time! Scared is more like it.

I wish you both the very best. My heart goes out to you and your families.

Ann

Ann, altho you addressed your post to specific people, I want to share something with you. None of us knows for sure which will be our last day on this earth, so living each day the best we can is a really smart thing to do. You and your husband have gotten a "wake-up call" to put into action the things that are most important to you both. Please don't ignore that call This humble advice is from a 65 yr. old grandma who wished she had figured this out a long time ago. Amy