Patty,
We had a similar situation with Heather. Her cancer moved to her spine. We were also told that if she had surgery to remove the tumor, she would have to wait a few weeks before she could start chemo. Since she also had the oropharyngeal tumor growing aggressively and the operation itself carried a relatively high risk of paralysis, she chose to start the chemo first, with the idea that she could have the tumor removed and spine repaired later. However, when we went to see a different neurosurgeon a couple months later, he said she wouldn't have had to wait to start chemo. He has done surgery and had people start RAD the following day, so he felt she would have been able to start chemo right away. He also said the risk of the surgery itself going wrong and causing paralysis was very small. If we would have went to him for a second opinion right away, Heather would probably have opted for the surgery first. It may not have changed the final outcome, but she would have had a better quality of life for her remaining months.
Joe's situation is different in that his tumor won't incapacitate him like Heather's spinal tumor did her. But I think her story shows the importance of getting a second opinion. If you can get Joe in to see another doctor soon, I would. If he really does have to wait 5 weeks after surgery to start RAD, IMHO I would choose the RAD and chemo first. I didn't always help Heather make the right choice, though, so I don't know how much weight my opinion should carry. It's just my 2 cents. I wish you and Joe the best.
Rainbows & hugs,
Rosie