Hello Everyone,

Please,first of all let me say,I am deeply saddened if I have offened any of you.The web is a fantastic place to gain and share information,but the personal aspects are sometimes lost during written translation.If you were talking to someone face to face the emotion shows in your voice and actions,but when you're writing it sometimes can be translated in a different way.I wish that I was a more eleoquent writer but I'm not.If I come across as being insensitive it's because I can't find the words to say what I truly feel.I did not mean in any manner to suggest that any of you are confused.I meant that I was not being as clear as I wanted to be.I was confusing my own topic.I can't express to you how much I appreciate all of you taking the time and effort to help me with my own cause when all of you have gone through so much.

All of the information that you have shared has been very helpful.I have come to the conclusion that there is no right answer to my original post.
As you all can see there have been conflicting opinions and everyone is very passionate about the "stats and prognosis" numbers.I have learned a valuable lesson in regard to these numbers and I will steer clear of them in any future posts.I based entirely to much on them.There is no clear cut way to do what I feel I need to.If this were my choice,I would do everything that can be medically done to prolong or improve his life.My children are devasted now and he's only been in the hospital for 8 days.I understand that the doctors can give no one guarentees,because there aren't any for anyone healthly or otherwise.I believe Joe is deriving his opinions from watching his Mom die of lung cancer.She suffered from diagnosis through the end of her life.He stated back then to us that if he was ever in a situation like this he didn't want to suffer like that.I know what you're all thinking,that he may be different.The little bits and pieces that the doctors have told him suggests that he may.Although,he can't talk right now,we still talk using a tablet.When I visited last night he told me again that he's tired of being in pain.

They are sending him for blood tests today and a MRI because his skin tone is yellowish.They had to replace the peg tube twice while he's been in the hospital.He was supposed to come home yesterday but they deceided to keep him in for a while longer to run more tests.This is what I was talking about before the doctors are not saying what they know.When the surgery turned out not to be as extensive as they first thought,the surgeon said he would remove the trach tube in 24 hours.From there it went to I'll remove it in a week,then it went to a month.Now it's undetermined.

These are the reasons that I'm so confused.Everytime I believe we have a set game plan it's changed.I'm sure this has happened to many of you.I think I've written a book here so I'm going to close.Again,I want to thank you all for your interest and I am very sorry if I have offended any of you it was truly unintentional.

Thanks Again
Patty

Patty,you didn`t offend me, most everyone here on the Board know that I can be a blithering idiot at times...........I read your last post, so now I`m probably going to open another can of worms......you mention your husband is tired of being in pain.........there is absolutely no excuse in the world for him to be in pain, especially if he`s in the hospital. Either he has to tell the staff or you have to yell and scream..........there is absolutely no reason, there are plenty of drugs out there for the pain. When Frank started rad 6 wks ago, the doc kept him in the hospital for a week simply for pain management.Lets face it, being in severe pain does make you want to just quit..........he needs to be pain free, and that can be done..........Love and Prayers Dee

Hi Dee,
Thank you for your understanding,I have come to understand that this is much bigger than me.I've been trying to conquer the world by myself.LOL

He's on a pca pump with morphine sulfate.They have also been adding a little something extra at night for him to sleep.The majority of the pain is surrounding the peg tube right now.His stomach seems to be the worst.The first 2 pegs weren't sealed right and air was getting into his stomach.They think there is another probelm that needs to be addressed.They've stopped his tube feedings and he's just having glucose in his IV for now.He's scheduled for a bunch of tests on Monday.The pain from the actual surgery seems to be minimal compared to his stomach.


Patty

Dear friends,

Last night I re-read this entire string of posts again

Hello Everyone,

Rosie,
I in no way took your post as you think.I think we all got caught up in the moment,everyone has their own views and is very passionate about them.I deceided that the choice on what he wants to do is going to be solely up to Joe,I will listen to him and try to help him if he doesn't understand the things that the doctors are saying but I am not going to interject my own feelings into them.I thought it was my duty to do so but I now understand that it isn't.The only thing I'm going to ensure is that all the doctors are as frank with him as they possibly can be,and let him make his own choice of free will.

Also,there is not an issue about disfigurment.He was going to allow the surgeon to remove all he needed in the first place.He understood what he would have looked like.His answer was I guess I won't be posing for playgirl anytime soon!!!So that has nothing to do with it.He wants just enjoy with quality the life he has left regardless of however long that is.I know that is very hard for some of you to think of.We are taught as a soceity to preserve life to all extremes.It seems I've answered my own question after all,it is all about free will.So Rosie,please don't second guess what you've told me it was very valuable as was everyone elses input.So,You're right let's stick to PICC lines and peg tubes and all the rather mundane stuff and the rest will take care of itself.


Thank you all again for all your thoughtful and insightful responses.I feel better right now than I have in 2 months.I feel a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.
Patty

Patty, Your last sentence makes it all worthwhile!