For all my dear new friends ...
What a day !! But a day that will go in my journal, and definately a day that brought a special bond with my sister. We have all lived in different parts of the country since adults, so although always in touch, not close physically for the things I have with my own family (husband and children.) Today, the emotional and physical caring that she accepted from me was a pleasure and a treasure for my memory.

Today was radiation and her 2nd of 3 rounds of chemo. It was an all day event. We had some challenges with her "port" ... burning sensation both treatments of chemo, this time worse, so they were worried about leakage, and when it was done and they took everything out, she bled profusely. So they rushed us to xray but found that there was no leakage.

The nurses were very short staffed today so things weren't as organized as had been for her last chemo. So, without asking I stepped into the nurses station found out where the warmed blankets were, and brought them to her and kept her covered and kept getting the blankets rewarmed. She loved that. "THank you, Thank you, Thank you so much." Then I kept refilling her water, keeping her protein drink filled, and telling the nurses what she needed. I stepped out every couple of hours at her insistence and roamed and walked and read and each time I returned to the Infusion Suite, she was thrilled to see me. When all was said and done, we went to the surgeons office for her check up appt. He debrided some of her arm scaring (which both of us had to close our eyes to ...), the doctor told her she looked good and to our (the doctor and my) surprise she looked at him and said "You look good too !" He laughed and said "I can see your mood is lifted, and I can't tell you how important it is that you have your family with you." By the end of the day she didn't mind or resist any of my help and my questions to the doctors and nurses. She even let me put her shoes on her and help with her dressing !!

She wanted to get her favorite fajata's at Chili's Restaurant, and work on swallowing, so we stopped on the 40 minute ride home ... we sat in the restaurant (I was so worried she would get sick, but I didn't say anything) ... she wanted to be there and she wanted to eat. She insisted on sitting on the same side of the booth with me, and put her head on my shoulder and said to me "I'm just so happy you are here, my day was so much better wtih you here." This just meant the world to me.

She laughed on the way home, and again, she made me drive, and put the music on loud.

I don't take this as a down note, but she did put in a Tom Petty CD on the way home and quietly told me "when I die, I want this song (Room at the Top) to be played at my funeral." When I listened to the words I started to choke up, she was going to turn it off, and I told her "let me listen." Then she went into further detail about the funeral she would want. I just listened. Then I told her the same about me, what I would want ... It was strange but at the same time, she needed to talk to me about this.

What a day ... she was so happy, so at ease and so okay by the time we got home.

Wasn't sick when we left chemo ... so I will wait to see what happens tonight.

It was a hard day, and at the same time ... a very special and peaceful day for us.

My love to you all.
I hope your days were also blessed and at peace.
Betty

Betty,

Another blessing for your reward! I remember when my mother was terminally ill and we spoke of her funeral service. She didn't want much but I made sure and wrote it down and it was as if it was choreographed by her. We couldn't find one song by Rod Stewart (Rythm of My Heart)in time but we managed to get a floating urn and take her ashes to the Pacific Ocean and let her go by a lighthouse to find her way back home (Japan) as she requested. Here are the most favorite words to the song that we sang as she floated away:

"Oh rhythm of my heart is beating like a drum
with the words "I love you" rolling off my tongue
No never will I roam for I know my place is home
where the ocean meets the sky I'll be sailing"

I always remind people through these times to do everything possible to MAKE THE MEMORIES! Every day is really a gift and if we go out of our way to make memories, we can cherish those for as long as we are in this world. Sort of a gift that keeps on giving.

I am really happy for both of you!

Ed

Oh my gosh, I am sitting here crying at the touching posts from Betty and Ed....Betty, I am sooo glad you had a good day with your sis, and Ed that is my fav Rod Stewart song...thanks for sharing your memories......Love, Carol

My dear friends ...
I'm so touched, so moved, so grateful that I have found this forum. You are all so dear and near to my heart this day ...

Radiation went quickly this morning. Barbara is a bit moodier today and very tired. She went home and went right to bed. No sickness yet from the chemo yesterday.

I have moved from the cabin on her property to the Woodstock Inn for the weekend, this is my treat to myself ... her husband has family coming in for the weekend, so I decided since we have no treatments on the weekend I could get out and stroll the beautiful town streets and shops and get some new scenery. It's only 5 miles from Barbara's farm, but she didn't want me to leave ...

I told her we can sit out on the street together and enjoy the scenery, then she was happy. She's ordering us both a massage at the spa too !!

My love to you all.
Betty

Betty,
Thank you for telling us about your good times as well as bad. As Ed says, we need to build memories.
I have to fight against crying, because crying seems to constrict my throat and really hurt - laughing does not hurt, though!
I am glad your sister is feeling well enough to want to do fun things. She will probably be very tired pretty soon, so plan to do what you can while she feels up to it.
Leena