#29371 09-20-2007 05:07 PM | Joined: Jan 2007 Posts: 735 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) |  "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Jan 2007 Posts: 735 | No one can tell you that . If you could just sit and talk to your dad and ask him why he dosent want know whatthe drs are suggesting , and then he can make an informed decison.
I am a Pro choice person all the way ....People chose their own paths in life and they answet to themselves in the end. BUE I believe in Making those choices whatever the issue may be ..it should be an educated one,,you should have all rhe facts ..both sides !!!!
So if he choses NO treatment....maybe he should 1st know what the treatment is. and maybe if you explain that to him. and explain how much it would mean to you if he would atleast do that much.
WE all know how scary it is ..believe me we do and I think at one point or another we probably all even did the we dont wanna know thing. But If you could calmy sit him down and just talk to him and listen to what he has to say and them let him know you feelings and ask him ( not TELL him ) to go hear what the treatment plan would be and what the outcome of that would be . Then he can make his decision . That would be fair to himself and his children.
shar
Sharlee
35 year old Female Non smoker, very occasional alcohol ..Scc T1N0M0,partial glossectomy and left neck disection ,2/9/07 No rad deemed ness. 4/16 tonsillectomy ..Trimengenial Neuralga due to surgery
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#29372 09-22-2007 02:28 PM | Joined: Apr 2005 Posts: 2,219 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Apr 2005 Posts: 2,219 | I know this is a long shot, but do you think you could get your father to post here?
If he does, we may be able to help more easily that way.
Jerry
Jerry
Retired Dentist, 59 years old at diagnosis. SCC of the left lateral border of the tongue (Stage I). Partial glossectomy and 30 nodes removed, 4/6/05. Nodes all clear. No chemo no radiation 18 year survivor.
"Whatever doesn't kill me, makes me stronger"
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#29373 09-22-2007 10:49 PM | Joined: Aug 2003 Posts: 1,627 Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | | Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)
Joined: Aug 2003 Posts: 1,627 | Hey Jerry, I was thinking the same thing. If we could get Dad on here it might help him make a clearer decision.
SCC Left Mandible. Jaw replaced with bone from leg. Neck disection, 37 radiation treatments. Recurrence 8-28-07, stage 2, tongue. One third of tongue removed 10-4-07. 5-23-08 chemo started for tumor behind swallowing passage, Our good friend and much loved OCF member Minnie has been lost to the disease (RIP 10-29-08). We will all miss her greatly.
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#29374 09-23-2007 11:34 AM | Joined: Apr 2005 Posts: 2,219 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Apr 2005 Posts: 2,219 | Great minds think alike. (no matter what XX says).
Jerry
Jerry
Retired Dentist, 59 years old at diagnosis. SCC of the left lateral border of the tongue (Stage I). Partial glossectomy and 30 nodes removed, 4/6/05. Nodes all clear. No chemo no radiation 18 year survivor.
"Whatever doesn't kill me, makes me stronger"
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#29375 09-23-2007 11:27 PM | Joined: Aug 2003 Posts: 1,627 Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | | Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)
Joined: Aug 2003 Posts: 1,627 | You're making me laugh Jerry.............and that's a good thing!
SCC Left Mandible. Jaw replaced with bone from leg. Neck disection, 37 radiation treatments. Recurrence 8-28-07, stage 2, tongue. One third of tongue removed 10-4-07. 5-23-08 chemo started for tumor behind swallowing passage, Our good friend and much loved OCF member Minnie has been lost to the disease (RIP 10-29-08). We will all miss her greatly.
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#29376 09-24-2007 01:07 AM | Joined: Nov 2002 Posts: 3,552 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Nov 2002 Posts: 3,552 | My church (non-denominational Christian) teaches that we are to do ALL that WE can do first - then let God do what he does. Also that God empowers and gives the healers (doctors) wisdom. Jesus empowered many during his ministry to heal the sick (and I am not neccessarily talking about faith healing here).
Gary Allsebrook
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Dx 11/22/02, SCC, 6 x 3 cm Polypoid tumor, rt tonsil, Stage III/IVA, T3N0M0 G1/2
Tx 1/28/03 - 3/19/03, Cisplatin ct x2, IMRT, bilateral, with boost, x35(69.96Gy)
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"You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes" (James 4:14 NIV)
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#29377 09-25-2007 10:48 AM | Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 9 Member | | OP Member
Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 9 | Jerry and Minniea- my dad has no way to use a computer. I will suggest it tho. thank you for the idea.
Gary-I told my dad somethin along those lines of what you posted but he says he doesnt even need to go get checked because if god wants him to be around to see his kids get married and have kids and all of that good stufff, then he will heal him without even seeing the doctors. My stepmom and i both told him that thats why god made medicine and doctors..to help what he cant. Thank you for your comment.
Im going to see him at the end of october. Im gonna sit down and talk to him with my older brother and sister and see if he will change his mind. | | |
#29378 09-26-2007 07:50 AM | Joined: Nov 2002 Posts: 3,552 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Nov 2002 Posts: 3,552 | I hate to sound harsh but he has a death wish. What he's saying is what Satan would have you do which is to simply die from the disease. I would recommend immediate counseling, maybe even an intervention with his pastor. He needs to be straightened out on this quickly.
Gary Allsebrook
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Dx 11/22/02, SCC, 6 x 3 cm Polypoid tumor, rt tonsil, Stage III/IVA, T3N0M0 G1/2
Tx 1/28/03 - 3/19/03, Cisplatin ct x2, IMRT, bilateral, with boost, x35(69.96Gy)
________________________________________________________
"You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes" (James 4:14 NIV)
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#29379 09-26-2007 09:53 AM | Joined: Mar 2006 Posts: 58 Supporting Member (50+ posts) | | Supporting Member (50+ posts)
Joined: Mar 2006 Posts: 58 | if he chooses no treatment, please call your local Hospice. They will help you through this, even though he is in Oregon. He or family near him should call their local hospice to help them through this too.
Caregiver to husband David, non smoker. Dx 1/06 SCC Base of Tongue Stage IV, neck nodes involved. Surgery/Chemo/Rad. Treatment finished 5/06. Waiting. Recurrence in lung, Aug07. 6 months Cisplatin/Erbitux. Spots shrinking after 3 Cisplatin tx.
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#29380 09-26-2007 10:22 AM | Joined: May 2007 Posts: 632 "Above & Beyond" Member (300+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (300+ posts)
Joined: May 2007 Posts: 632 | And if he still refuses to bow to pressure/common-sense/offers of help-------just tell him you love him anyway---and keep doing that whichever path he chooses!
Brenda
Brenda in UK--Diagnosis 30/5/07--undifferentiated carcinoma in right jawbone and muscles. Stage 4
6/7/07--new diagnosis primary is in lung. Finished 4cycles of palliative carboplatin/gemcitabine
therapy September 07
Now dying to live!
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