Hi all,

I have posted a few times here on behalf of my mother who has stage 2 re-occourant mouth/neck cancer. Thank You all for your input!

It started on her tounge. She had 1/2 of her tounge removed then went for rad. It came back in her neck and she had about 95% of a fist sized tomor removed and follow up chemo/tomo therapy. Yesterday at M.D. Anderson they said the red bumps may be squimis-cell cancer spreading to her skin and they have seen this before. Of course we are hoping it is some type of alergic reaction to one of the many medicines/scans she has undergone.

Is this common for the head/neck cancer to matastise this way?

If this is cancer they mentioned there may be some trials she is eligable since they do not think that they can be removed surgically and she may not be able to handle more aggresive chemo. She will get a biopsy next week. Hopefully this is not more cancer.

Sorry for the terriable spelling!

Thanks,
Rick

hi rick laways remember it is not cancer until th doctors say so positive thinking is what u need to be doing . hope everything turn out ok , hugs and prayers maz

Hi again,

The bumps turned out to be more cancer and she now also has another tumor in her throat. We have an appt today with an E.N.T. for an eval, including weahter she will need a trach.

Frankly the visit at M.D. Anderson, (Orlando), yeaterday was rather bleak without many other options. I was so upset that I forgot the name of the chemo therpay her Dr mentioned.

I asked if there were other trials/vaccines but she said no and that this was "a very aggresive cancer and outlook was not good".

They are worried about her breathing. We are also going to see an Otolarongolisist either at University of Miami or Moffet.

Sometimes it just seems that things do not go in your favor and mom has not had one break since this whole thing started.

Thanks and regards,
Rick

I am sorry to hear this Rick, This is the kind of news we all really hate to hear. You should not loose hope for a miracle, but they don't happen often enough. Enjoy what time you have with your mom. As things progress, you will benefit from people in hospice care. Be sure your mother has her legal will and medical directive up to date.

Once again, I am sorry that you are in this situation.

I to am sorry your Family has to endure this. I can't think of any thing to say. Enjoy the time left with your Mom. Many people on this forum will be thinking about you and your family.

Danny Boy

Rick, we are sending prayers your way too. Amy

Thanks all for the prayers and wishes!

Maybe the chemo they mentioned will help. I think one of the drugs mentioned was Cisplatin.

Thanks,
Rick

Rick,

So sorry to hear your bad news. You didn't mention your Mom's age. I am almost in the same position as you. My Mom had 1/4 of her tongue removed last May, neck dissection but, all nodes were clear. There was no radiation. This past year she has had pneumonia 4 times and now has more lesions under her tongue which were biopsied and found to be precancerous. We have an appt. with her oncologist next week. She had an MRI last week to rule our stokes for her problem with swallowing. No strokes were found, but it was discovered that she has something called NPH, Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus (liquid on the brain)which is causing her many problems and is a progressive disease. She has all the symptoms, forgetfullness that mimics Alzheimers, trouble walking, and the beginnings of incontinence. We must see a neurologist for this but want to get the oncologist appointment out of the way first to see what he has to say about the growths. The neurological answer to the NPH is surgery, putting shunts in her skull to drain the fluid to another part of her body. I don't know if she can withstand the resolution to her problem. This on top of the cancer is getting us both down and very depressed. She is 86 and I am 61, not a spring chicken myself. We're just praying for some answers that we can live with. I am in complete empathy with the problems your family is having to endure. May God be with you and your family to guide you and help see you thru this ordeal. My prayers are with you.

Margie

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Caregiver for Mom who had 1st stage tongue cancer and neck dissection May 2004 and now has precancerous lesions in same area of tongue coupled with a neurological problem of NPH.

To Rick and Margie,I hope you will permit me to share a little about my mother, whom I loved dearly, with you. At 82 she had the 1st stroke, and bounced back quickly, at 83 the 2nd one- this took longer- but she learned how to walk with the walker and carry a glass of wine at the same time.[I never saw her spill a drop] During her 84th yr. she was walking to her bedroom one night and fell-the Docs never knew if the hip bone just gave way or she broke it in the fall. She crawled to her bedroom, but slept on the floor because she couldn't stand up. She did not call us until the next a.m.- didn't want to wake anyone up that late-The surgery to repair the hip went well, but the recovery and therapy did not. One late afternoon about 3 1\2 months into her hospital stay, I came in for my daily visit to bring her a fresh shrimp cocktail, which she loved. We visited while she ate and as I got ready to leave she looked me in the eye and said "Amy, I'm tired of this" My answer was that I would start looking into a full time nurse at home and talk to her Doc about releasing her. She just smiled. At 5:30 the following morning, her Doc called us to say she had died during the night. I am 99.9% sure she willed it. She had lived well, loved and nurtured her family and had a strong faith in God. I'll admit that I was mad at her for a long time afterward for "giving up" but now I know that she no longer wanted to suffer the indignities of not being able to care for herself.
I miss her everyday ,I salute her stamina, respect her courage, and I honor her decision. I insisted that she get well while she knew that it wasn't going to happen. She was smarter than me[she's probably grinning at this statement] She knew it was time to go and she wasn't afraid. Hold your Mom's hand and tell her how much you love her and let her decide. Amy

Dear Rick

I'm so sorry to read of your Mom's recurrence. I am sending positive energy to you all and wishes for peaceful, pain-free days for your dearly loved mother.

Love and light from Helen

Thank you all for the support and praryers. Mom wants to fight this! She is not afraid to die but she wants to fight. I guess we will go back and let the Dr's know this and perhaps get a second opinion and treatmeant options.

For the first time in a few weeks she was able to swallow some pills and drank some juice. It also seems like the skin tomors have shrank!

Thanks,
Rick

Rick,
My brother is in the same place as your mother. He is only 32. He went for a check up at MD Anderson (Houston) about 3 weeks ago - he had about 6 knots (kind of like mosquito bites) on his neck at the time. As soon as his doctor saw him he said, "David, I don't like the looks of those knots." Cancer was also found in his throat. We, too, were told we are, medically, at the end of the road. They gave him from 1 week to a month - he has made it 3 weeks and is currently in the mountains where he longed to go, "before I get to feeling bad" as he said - as if he hasn't been feeling bad for 2 years now. My sister, who is with him, called today and said, "He's so sick. All the prayers that Maddie and Kaitlin (her 5 and 2 year-old daughters) have said for him aren't going to work. I'm not ready to loose him." I told her, I know he is sick (I left him just a couple of days ago), and, yes, he is dying, but, whether we lost him now or in a year or ten, we would never be ready. Sometimes I begin to feel sorry for him, leaving a wife and little 4 year-old daughter, but then I remember I have to celebrate his life and we have had so much more time with him than many people have with their loved ones. My husband's cousin lost his 41 year old wife to cancer at Thanksgiving. Their little girl is only 2, at least my brother had three more years than that with his little girl. It's not enough, but it is more than it could have been. I don't know if this helps, just support your mother as she fights this - my brother finally has his pain under control and refuses to give up- he will keep on keeping on, until he can't any longer. I don't know how old your mother is, but please find comfort in the years you have had with her - way too few, but so many more than some. Your mother and family will be in our thoughts. And, as Mark said, don't discount miracles. You never know when they will occur.
Tonya

My prayers are with you Rick for comfort and peace and strength as you walk this road. May God take charge of your Mothers care and give her the miracle of healing.

Blessing on your and your loved ones,
Barbara~

Rick--
As an adult child of a parent with oral cancer, I feel your pain and helplessness. Know that your presence and your love matter a great deal to your mother. Take care of yourself, too. I am thinking of you and your family and wishing you the peace that comes from love which lasts beyond this life, Tina