...then again it could be a whole lot worse, but it's too early to tell.

I had a follow up appointment with my radiation oncologist a couple of weeks ago. After happily joking and making small talk with him and going through the exam process, we got to the point of pulling the scope out of my nose (always a relief!) and he was all frowns. I knew immediately something was up. When I asked him how does it look, he said he wanted to feel my tongue before he answered and continued to frown. After he completed his exam, he said he saw an abnormality about the size of a pencil point near the original tumor site and wanted a fresh CT scan and one of the other docs to have a look.

I had the CT scan last Thursday and an appointment with the surgeon Friday. He scoped and choked me and saw what the rad onc saw, but said it didn't look like cancer and that he didn't want to see me again for three more months -- the standard first year follow-up interval. However, the radiologist had not reviewed the CT scan by that time. So the surgeon told me if the radiologist saw something, then they would call me and have me back in six weeks or less. I got a call from the surgeon's P.A. yesterday morning -- the radiologist saw something: "...a fullness that is worrisome with regard to recurrent disease."

It was a tough day after that phone call yesterday. Sometimes I get so sick of being sick or recovering from being sick. Sick of hopspitals and their smells, of needles and catheters, of doctors and their vocabulary that I don't always understand, of........I digress. This post wasn't meant to be a rant.

In any case, I go in for a pandenoscopy (spelling?) December 1st, which is right at my one year post-treatment anniversay. We'll get a biopsy sample and see what the pathologist says. I'll post an update after the pathology report is in.

Thanks for the chance to externalize some of this.

-Brett

Hey Brett,
Just wanted you to know that I will pray that there is no cancer with this abnormality. It is so hard to wait on results and try and figure out exactly what they are saying and thinking.
Take care and God bless,
Debbie

Wish you the best. As its been said many times what does the biopsy say. Get your mind off it and wait for the final results. You will only feel worse the more you dwel on it. God Bless.

Brett, it ain't til it is. Try not to think about it. Get rid of the worry as you get on with your life. What will be, will be, and worry won't help anything. One day at a time. Will pray it is nothing of concern.

Brett, I am so sorry you have this worry again. As Kirk said, it is nothing but a "fullness" yet, and probably never will be, but I know you have a hard time keeping your mind off the possibilities.
i know what you mean about being tired of the whole thing, doctors and hospitals, needles and nurses. Tomorrow is my first day of in what seems like months that I don't have a doctor's appointment, and that is only because I made a mistake about the date and had to reschedule!
I hope you will have the best news in December!
Leena

Hang in there Brett,

Hoping all goes well with your path report. Hard not to worry when you think of a reoccurance I know.
I am also tired of the whole scene. Smells, Nurses, Doctors and scans. I think the longer we go through the treatment the more sick of it we get. I'm pulling for you Brett.

Danny Boy

Brett,
I am sorry to hear the worrisome news. I am hoping for the best for you. I know what you mean about being tired of the hospital scene, but now that I go in so seldom I actually kind of miss MD Anderson and seeing some of the people there. Of course I never miss having that scope stuck through my nose.

Take care,
Danny G.

Brett, the wait is awful, hang in there and keep looking up!!! God Bless, Carol

Brett, I am so sorry you have this worry again. As Kirk said, it is nothing but a "fullness" yet, and probably never will be, but I know you have a hard time keeping your mind off the possibilities.
i know what you mean about being tired of the whole thing, doctors and hospitals, needles and nurses. Tomorrow is my first day of in what seems like months that I don't have a doctor's appointment, and that is only because I made a mistake about the date and had to reschedule!
I hope you will have the best news in December!
Leena

Hang in there Brett,

Hoping all goes well with your path report. Hard not to worry when you think of a reoccurance I know.
I am also tired of the whole scene. Smells, Nurses, Doctors and scans. I think the longer we go through the treatment the more sick of it we get. I'm pulling for you Brett.

Danny Boy