Finally, after some lengthy discussion with the docs my mother-in-law is getting a feeding tube monday! They can't tell me whether they will keep her in or not, I'm kinda hoping they do because she is so weak right now and I'm hoping they will get her feeding schedule sorted out before she comes home. She is supposed to get home care when she comes home because the doctor says she will not be able to do the feeds herself, is this usually the case? She still lives alone, I am unable to get her to move with us at this time. She knows she will have to eventually but is being really stubborn. It is so worrying, her being on her own so much. The tube will be permanent, she has only been able to drink ensure for months now and she is aspirating that into her lungs. Anyone know what my chances are of having the hospital keep her for a few days?

Karen

Karen,
I can't help you on the other stuff, but getting the feeding tube is a pretty simple procedure wherein they sedate you and a radioligist punches a small hole in the stomach area and installs the tube. Using the feeding tube is quite easy if your mother in law is able to get around at all. All that you do is pour a couple of cans of formula into the reservoir, hang it on something, stick its tube into your tube, turn the valve, and then sit as gravity carries the liquid through the tube into your stomach. I used to sit at my breakfast table or in my easy chair while at home or at my desk while at the office and do the feedings. It is painless and you can even nap while feeding.

I hope that this helps.

Danny G.

Karen
You are right ..either she needs to be in hospital or have someone with her. You live in Canada ,will social services provide her with a carer if she refuses to come to your house? Has she started any treatments yet? I just realised you have posted elsewhere about her haven`t you?
Maybe its time to get tough and insist she comes home with you , there will come a time when her stubborness is just too hard for the rest of the family to deal with. I feel for you, I have an 80 year old mother and father who are so stubborn they drive me crazy..and they live 3000 miles away!
Take care.
Marica

Marica,
Try two almost 90 year olds 1000 miles away. Ain't it fun. $9000 a month for nurses and rising. Refuse to go to shelter during category 4 hurricanes. I feal your pain. If anyone ever figures out what 'carrot' works to move these seniors, let me know.

Karen,
If she is mobile, she will be able to do this herself. The question is 'will she' and who is monitoring how much she is in taking? If you can get home health care in a couple of times a week to check her it would help. Else if you are really worried consider hiring a home health aide to come in a couple days a week for a few hours. I didn't need a PEG, but many people have had problems with clogging, infections, etc. so it is not always as simple.

Take care,
Eileen

Karen,

When my mother was battling ovarian cancer, we set up home health care. They provided an aide to help her bathe, clean up her living area, massage her feet with lotion, sing to her, cheer her up...

The schedule was pretty much up to my mother and she chose to have this person come in twice a week. We also had a nurse once per week on a different day. The nurse even sent in a physical therapist once a week to keep the legs limber and to deal with any muscular or skeletal issues.

Hang in there.

Ed

Thanks to everyone for the input. What a week and its not over yet. I have never met such incompetence in my life.
Monday the tube was put in, but we didn't get to meet the doc beforehand so he was kinda surprised to find out she took blood thinners! I had asked her g.p about stopping them and he said it wasn't necessary, wrong....So, we had to wait for 2 units of frozen plasma to be sent from Toronto to reverse the effects of the coumadin. She has been on a continuous feed since, which is actually going well. Tomorrow they are going for a 6-hour feed and if she tolerates that I get to bring her home on friday, but she has to come to my place for the weekend, because she is getting a pump and they want someone around that can use it (me). Tuesday she will get homecare, but they are just monitoring it, she has to do the feed herself. She also has to take all her meds this way now, they have ordered nothing by mouth, ever again. I don't think anyone in the hospital has read her chart, they keep asking silly questions, like "why are you on so much morphine dear"? they just know she is in for the peg, they don't know anything about her diagnosis. So frustrating...
Marica,
She isn't receiving any treatment now, this is her 3rd occurence and they say she is terminal. They said that in July and things have progressed so rapidly I can't catch my breath
Again thanks guys, it really helps to talk to people that understand.
Karen

I am so sorry, Karen. My dad is terminal, too, from COPD at this point, though the liklihood of the oral cancer recurring is very high since he is too weak for radiation or chemo, and it had spread to his lymph nodes. My dad has been on the peg for about 2-3 weeks now. He is 76 and has a tracheostomy as well, so he is in a skilled care subacute unit. Medicare will pay for it for a total of 100 days, which means he has about 90 days and we'd better have another game plan in place before then. At least he isn't in pain - Get this - all they'll give him is tylenol because anything else would be too hard on him. Give me a break! He's almost totally immmobile in a bed, can't talk, can't eat or drink, he's dying a slow death (doctor said barring an infection or other unforeseen occurrence, he's got months left), and they're worried about what affect anything stronger than tylenol would have on him ...

I noticed when I had laser surgery earlier this year, and when my dad went in for his surgery, that every person that saw either one of us asked the same questions over and over again. I finally figured out that it is a cross check thing - to make sure that their information in their records is correct, AND to see if the person that is being treated knows what's going on ...