Thank you for your advice Karen. I will follow it up but what you are referring to is a center which offers complimentary paid services and is the only one. It's about one hour away from us and offers workshops, counselling, literature and well- being in general.

No, he doesn't get treated at the Royal Adelaide Hospital which treats public patients. He is under private cover and his Cancer Care Center is a good hour away from us. As this is new to us we are still learning about the system. The treating doctors operate at different hospitals which are a little closer to us so we have to go there. Luckily, they are not too far apart from each other so I'm hoping we are able to manage.

I will contact SA Cancer Council again and ask what services are available to us.

Thank you Don. Yes, you are right we do need more support but I seem to hit brick walls � one feels helpless and alone.

over the years the children have had their fair share of having to deal with a mental illness. My oldest is in her last year of her physics degree and my youngest last year of high school. At times it can be pretty tense.

I just want to be as prepared as best as I can be. I can deal with mental illness but I don't know anything about cancer apart from what I've read and to be honest it sounds scary. I am worried having to deal with both at the same time.

Thanks again

Welcome to OCF! Im sorry to read what you are facing. Its not an easy road trying to be caregiver, breadwinner, mother and everything else all at once. You have found a wonderful resource to help get your family thru this.

When I went thru my first round of OC, I was a single mother of 2 teenagers. It was not an easy road at all! I found what worked best with them was to give each one a few responsibilities. My son drove me to treatments and my daughter had household duties like dogs, laundry, etc. I made the assignments fair by having them both take the same amount of time every day. Even though my daughter had many more jobs, it would take her about 2 hours like what it took my son to drive me.

Does your husband see a mental health specialist? If not, ask at the treatment facility what is offered. Im sorry but I dont have any info about how the health system works anywhere but in the US (with only a tiny bit about Canada). You may need to speak to his mental health professional and let them know your husband needs to help take care of himself. They should be able to work with him on that. Maybe there is a program to help him with daily living skills???

Hang in there!!!

I think the problem here is comprehension? Am I correct? And then after that compliance. That's what it sounds like to me. Often Bipolar patients choose not to take their meds and are non compliant or the meds aren't as effective as they should be.

Add to this the fact that there will be certain things he HAS to do throughout treatment - cancer meds - eating and drinking - when things are very very hard - skin care, and oral care - and you have a very slippery slope.

Ideally you need a one on one with the dr. who denied you the peg. The peg will not solve your overall problems - but it will take a weight off your shoulders. One less thing to worry about. Plus - the way it was put to me before going into treatment, it's a "just in case" I was to try and use the formula with it - to see how I tolerated the feeds (i didn't and ended up having it removed three weeks after the end of treatment - as I didn't use it) but I was VERY MOTIVATED.

You need to talk to him or her privately. They cannot outright discuss your husband's medical status without you having a power of attorney, but this isn't medical information perse... He needs to know what you are facing and why it is a good idea to have it in place.

Plus most meds can be delivered to your husband through the peg as well, which will also help you.

Radiation at the best of times really sucks, so trying to get someone normally health through treatment can be a real task, someone with a mental illness is going to have a harder time... unless he's catatonic.

I do hope you get some help. I know a Cancer center isn't doable for you but the plus to one... other than having all the drs and treatments in one area, is that they see EVERYTHING, and I anticipate they would have something in place for patients who have a mental illness.

hugs to you.

Yes Cheryl, that is right what you are saying. Compliance is the key word it seems to me no matter how much noise I'm making it falls on deaf ears.

My oldest daughter and I have drawn up a schedule. My husband's input has been zero. We are 'cancered out' already. No interest or input on his behalf so it seems.

Atm we have chemo appts in the morning and rads in late afternoon. Can someone tell me whether it's better to have all in one hit or having a break between appts? The reason I'm asking is what is mentally, psychologically more feasible. Given we have to travel to two different hospitals for treatment.

Is he having his chemo in the morning or just a consult with the dr.? Same question for rads? The problem with being at two different hospitals is moving between them takes time. Ideally on chemo days he should have rads first the. Chemo as it can take a while. Radiation in and of itself is very fast. 20 minutes? Sometimes (they should) they will piggy back a weekly rads check up with him so that can take longer.

Chemo he will have to have blood work before hand so that can become an all day affair. I really would push for the peg for him.

If you're tired now, three weeks from now you'll be beyond exhausted. Hugs.

Yes, chemo in the morning and Rads in the afternoon.
We were told the chemo first and then before Rads. Chemo is supposed to be 1.5 hours long the first of every week 2.5 hours. Rads 40 min.

Regarding the PEG my husband is going with his doctor's advice. Little I can do

Thank you for your advice and help.

The thing with doing chemo first is there could be a hang up in waiting for the drugs and having his blood drawn etc... Which would make you late for rads - and make for a longer day. Plus he could be feeling unwell after chemo - nauseated etc...

What chemo are they giving him?
Cisplatin should be flushed. It takes a certain amount of time to run the chemo but there are is another drug they run with it - plus they need to flush him and it's imperative that he drink a crap load after cisplatin because it's very hard on the kidneys. My hospital has a habit of running it overnight with IV fluids so they would have me come in give me rads, then chemo and then they would send me to rads the next morning and send me home.

I've been through chemo twice. Once when I had it (three big bags) and once with my father in law - his was the regiment your husband will likely have - they would have him in early - he'd have his blood drawn, then he'd check into chemo day care. And we would WAIT - some times an hour sometimes two (they had to wait for the blood work results then order the chemo from the pharmacy), then they would hook him up run fluids, his Benadryl, he would pop a steroid, then They would run his chemo and more fluids. It was on a Monday and it never ceased to take less than 4 hours - they usually gave him rads before hand because it was short and easy to fit in - plus after chemo you really just want to go home. We were at the same hospital for both, and it was still an all day ordeal. Others may share there experiences and it's possible they are different but as far as I know the actual chemo may be run over 1.5 hours but there's more to it than just running the bag.

I guess there is nothing you can do about the peg, I just hope he does what he has to. He may surprise you. But I've worked with people who have a mental illness, and bipolar people are okay as long as they take their meds but as I am sure you know some are non compliant becaus of how they feel when off them - or how they feel when on them.

I would also wonder how all the other meds will effect him - and if there are any interactions between them. As your know he probably has to have his meds tweaked as it is occasionally, but throw in different meds, pain meds, steroids etc.. And there may be some issues,

I don't envy you this, but as I said he may surprise you. Hugs my dear.

Cheryl, I do value your input. Thank you so much. I feel very much alone on this journey regarding mental health issues. But as you've said he may surprise us all.

I don't really know what you mean by what chemo do they give him. I was only told Cisplatin and instead of giving him one big dose weekly they are giving him four small ones thinking he might handle them better, I.e. Being gentler on him.

I have told my husband about your experience having rads first. I will follow it up with the specialist and ask about it.

Cheryl I have read that the treated area needs to be moisturised with sorbelene as often as four times daily. Is that correct? Also do you apply the cream before rads or after or both?

Also, I have written down a recipe about a milkshake that people have been recommending regarding calorie intake but I don't know what carnation instant breakfast is. I assume it's something American ? Are you able to tell me what a substitute would be?

So scared about the unknown but little we can do about it. Trying to be as prepared as we can in order to support him. Getting him out of bed and to get him to participate in 'life' - daily activities is one of the hardest things.

On top of it he's a smoker and yes, he has been told about the risks he's still smoking. Mental illness and smoking has always been linked together and I'm hoping he will stop - better has the will to stop. It's a worry �

The Carnation Instant Breakfast comes in several varieties and either powder form or already mixed and ready to use. Each serving of Carnation Breakfast Essentials Drink has 21 essential vitamins & minerals which is why its a great additive for the shake. Maybe you can order it online?

I understand about smoking... its an addiction thats very difficult for some to stop using. Your husband must get it into his head he truly wants to quit using tobacco (in all forms) in order to succeed. Unless he makes the decision to quit and is determined to do it then he will never be able to quit. Most smokers need at least 7 attempts before they can quit for good. Im a former smoker who now is missing half of my lower jaw all because of my bad habit. Now I help educate thousands of school children about the dangers of smoking. So much better to never start so they never have to battle the hurdle of trying to quit. This is one your husband needs to have the willpower to do on his own. I hope he will make that choice soon.