Hi. My mother was diagnosed with oral cancer yesterday. I don't know what to say really. I have no idea how to help her or how to cope with this myself. I guess cause I really have no idea what to expect. I've never even heard of oral cancer. The word cancer alone is enough to scare anyone. Sorry if I'm rambling, I just wondered if there were any other family members here and what they felt. Thanks.

Welcome to OCF! Im so glad you have found our forum to help you and your mother. Read both here and on the main OCF pages to educate yourself. Being informed will help you to be a great caregiver and advocate for your mother.

Right now have your mother try to eat all she can and eat all her favorite foods. Depending on her treatments, her eating capabilities can be severely compromised for anywhere from a couple weeks thru several months. So eat everything now! If your mother will do radiation, her daily intake will need to be at least 2500 calories and 48 oz of water. This is necessary every single day so might as well get her started on it now.

She should get a hearing test, a complete blood count including thyroid, a dental exam with any questionable teeth pulled. She will probably need flouride trays made if having radiation (this take weeks).

If she hasnt selected a treatment center, a CCC would be a very good place to get the best treatment. The comprehensive cancer centers will use a team based approach so everyone will be on the same page. I will give you a link for it at the end. If she isnt going to a CCC, at least try to go to one for a second opinion?

You are among friends, almost like an extended family here. Dont worry, we will help you and your mother with everything we can. Best wishes!!!


CCC List

Thank you for responding. She had a biopsy done a few weeks ago and we found out the results yesterday. She has a job but her employer doesn't provide insurance. The help she has received has been through a small clinic in her town that takes patients in and makes payment arrangements based on their income. The dentist at this clinic is amazing but really can't help her beyond this step. She has looked into help from her county but again no help beyond what she has already been given. I am terrified that because she doesn't have insurance that she will basically be "swept under the rug" and not receive the help she desperately needs. This dentist is going to help and do all of her dental work but beyond that she is pretty much on her own. Are there any other avenues to take to help in this situation?

Sorry to hear about your mother's diagnosis,but you're in the right place here that will give you support. My daughter was diagnosed with oral cancer of the tongue 4 months ago and I had the same concerns you do,her husband's insurance wouldn't cover her,so she had none. She went to one doctor that would accept payments and referred her to an ENT surgeon that would also do the same and the hospital applied for a grant for her surgery,so there is help out there for the uninsured.

Welcome to the forum TWC. As a new member myself for a little over a week I have already received an incredible amount of support and information from other members. You will do likewise. So, ask your questions, someone and probably many someone's have already been down the same path.

One of the main benefits of this forum is that it takes away that feeling of helplessness because in the beginning we all know nothing about oral cancer. You will get up to speed quickly and then be a much better caregiver to your mother.

It seems the American Cancer Society also has some financial help options, so check them out too.

Once again, welcome.
Tony

Twc - If you can get your Mom to a hospital on the CCC list that Christine mentioned, they may have provisions for someone with no insurance. When my son had cancer, and had no job and no insurance, the hospital would accept very low monthly payments - like $5 a month. My son did finally have to go bankrupt, but he is cancer free, now 7+ years later (and has a great job with benefits!). There are also drug companies associated with hospitals that will award free treatment drugs based on need which really helped in my son's case. Also, you might look into Social Security Disability. You Mom's doctor could write a letter stating that she would be completely disabled for a year, which might help in getting the Disability funds. When my son was diagnosed with SSC, I thought I would completely fall apart - and then I found this place, came here several times a day and found tremendous practical and compassionate support. Your Mom can survive this and you will too! Let us know what's happening.

Hello twc, there will be all sorts of days, days that you take care of so many appointments and answer so many questions that you will completely loose track of time and days that all you can do is be a kind ear and shoulder.

When I found out about my husband's cancer the first promise we made to each other was to say everything that passed through our mind no matter how bad it sounded. At fist I slept very lightly because I wanted to be there when he woke through the night. Communication is key to making sure nothing is overlooked every day of your mom's life. The more informed you become, the more confident and strong you can be for your mom and sometimes just knowing you are there is all that really matters. Sometimes we cry, but a lot of times its because we love each other so much. Waiting and all the unknown is the hardest and feeling love and acceptance through it all is a truly human experience.

You are in my thoughts, Sophie