Hi there,
my 65 y/o mom was diagnosed today with SCC... she's been smoking for 40 years, 2 packs a day. This finally scared her enough that she is swearing off cigs. But, she was saying maybe she should get a nicorette gum or something. I was thinking that wasn't a good idea, but wanted to check if anyone knows about that?
Also, my mom was recently told that she had some serious dental problems, needed a deep cleaning and possibly to lose some teeth.
I have done some reading and it looks like all of that needs to be taken care of before any anti-cancer treatment is done. But, what if they can't get the teeth in tip top shape? I hate for the cancer to have more time to root. We are already having to wait a week to see an oncologist due to the stupid referral system.

I am scared. I don't want to freak her out... And I want to be there with her through this. I am just trying to figure out what would be the most helpful to her. Should I plan to bring her meals/protein shakes through her treatment. Should I take time off work to care for her? (My father is no longer with us)...

Thanks for reading... I know I am ranting a bit... still in shock.

Hi there Jaymi!

Welcome to OCF! Glad you found us, sorry you had to

Quitting smoking is tough and ChristineB would be the person I would want to handle that question due to her experience there.

Dental work become very problematic after radiation, so she will want to get that addressed before treatment, as afterwards the risk of osteoradionecrosis is very serious.

I know it's pointless to say "don't be afraid" due to the severity of an oral cancer diagnosis caused by smoking, but reducing stress, which reduces cortisol levels in the body, will only help your and your mom's immune system. So breath, find relaxation techniques, and get as much support as you can my dear friend.

Keep your chin up and keep us posted, we're here to help.

Eric

Hi Eric...
Thank you for the quick response.
I am so glad I did find OCF... I knew it had to be out there.

I was worried about the dental stuff, my mom has never been good about going to the dentist (I think she has a serious fear of it)... she literally once asked the dentist if she could just get dentures and be done with it!! (He said NO!, of course)

The quitting smoking is going to prove to be a doozy with my mom. She already had a stroke 5 years ago & was diagnosed with emphysema... and neither of those things stopped this stubborn lady from smoking.
Today, she was really scared though... so I think it may stick. But, now, finding a method to help her quit is super important. I look forward to hearing from ChristineB on this.

Thanks for the words about staying calm... I know I need to stay focused on things that I can control and not worry about the things I can't. I always hated yoga and meditation... but maybe it's time I get reacquainted with those concepts. I could use it personally, since my 16 month old son allows me very little time to just BREATHE!

Anyway, thanks for writing back... it's great to feel some positive energy out there when I am still reeling.

Jaymi

You are most welcome my friend. I personally meditate, and practice yoga along with a myriad of other physical activities to keep my stress levels in check. Combined with counseling, its really helped me cope with all that life has thrown at me over the last 5 years.

I have young children so I remember and relate to the challenges. My 9 year old is a dream, but my oldest is 13 and "really" good at pushing all of my buttons. Yoga keeps me from drinking, I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing

Jaymi, welcome to OCF! Im very glad you found this site! You will need the help to get your mom thru the next few months.

All dental work needs to be done now. If any teeth are questionable then they should be pulled before beginning any treatments. Flouride trays should be made and started to be used.

Her nutrition needs to be watched closely. She should be eating all her favorites now as her sense of taste will be changing. Swallowing could become difficult so have it now so she doesnt have regrets. Gaining a few pounds is a good thing right now as she will probably lose that and more during treatments. Her diet for the next year needs to be at least 2500 calories daily and 48 oz of water, every singe day. This is especially important during her treatments. Without this amount, she faces dehydration and malnutrition. It will lead to discomfort and hospitalizations. I went thru it and would up hospitalized a few times and it was no fun!

She should have a full blood count done including thyroid. Getting her hearing checked is also a good idea if she will be having chemo. Cisplatin is known to cause some hearing loss . The loss is permanent so she must pay close attention to this and tell her doc right away.

As far as smoking goes....QUIT NOW!!!!! Why do more damage to her body? She needs to wake up and understand that tobacco probably was a contributor to her current medical condition. Why make it worse by continuing? I know how difficult it is to quit but it can be done once she makes up her mind to do it. There is all kinds of help out there. 1 800 QUIT-NOW is a hotline that can help. There are free help quit products available and support that goes right along with it.

Here is what got me to finally quit. When I was first diagnosed I was in shock and it was just too much for me to even consider quitting. I first had to get my head around what my future held. I was a single mother who had nobody but myself to depend on. My children only had me and being sick did not fit into the gameplan. When I was on my way to the feeding tube consult, it hit me. It was like the light switch got turned on right at that moment as I was reaching for a cigarette. My son was going with me to the gastro doctor apt. It was at that moment as I drove down the turnpike that I realized I did this to myself. I thought what kind of lousy mother puts her own life in jeopardy? What would become of my children if I didnt make it thru this? Since I always put my children first I was beside myself in horror thinking of how my children would go on if they didnt have me. Their father was not part of their lives for many years so that was not an option. Instead of taking one cig out to smoke, I picked up the whole pack. I said to my son...."watch this"! I crumpled up the pack and threw it right out the window. I never litter so that was way out of character for me too. I said "Thats it! I will NEVER, EVER smoke another cigarette in my life. I QUIT!!!!". My son looked at me in shock and said "I really hope you mean that and wont smoke anymore, mom". Thats the exact moment I became a non smoker. Its now 6 years later and I have not ever taken even a puff. I chose to give myself the best fighting chance I could so I quit smoking.

I could go on and on all day with anti tobacco facts and figures. But the bottom line is she needs to want to quit in order to be successful. Most smokers try at least 7 times before they can quit for good. This might help your mother to want to quit. I worked with TRUTH.com (American Legacy) and also the CDC doing anti-tobacco education. I have a video that was made and shows what tobacco did to me, I am now disfigured due to my habit.

Unsweetened Truth Campaign/Christine

As a caregiver, make sure to take time for yourself too. Some caregivers end up taking anxiety meds due to all the stress.

Good luck!!!

Hi there... re the dental problems. If she is being seen at a ccc they should have a dental oncology department. She should be completely examined, and any teeth that will likely not stay with her forever will have to be pulled prior to radiation. Pulling them after can have disastrous results. If your hospital doesn't have a dental oncology department then see a regular dentist but make sure he has a lot of experience with oral cancer patients. You don't want to wait to treat the cancer, but stuff like this can be done beforehand. She will likely have to have surgery. Her appointment should be withing that time frame. Then they will determine when to remove whatever they need to and likely she will have a 4-6 week window post surgery (for the cancer) when she can heal from the teeth and surgery, before starting chemo and rads. Assuming she will have to have them.

I had my surgery, got my biopsy results two weeks later, they determined they wanted me to have chemo and rads, and sent me for a hearing test, and to visit the dental oncologist. I was keeping all my teeth so that was quick. They had my mask making a week later and a week after that I had my first radiation. If I had had to have teeth removed I would likely have had another week or two before the start of radiation. The best thing about doing it after the surgery is that at that point hopefully the cancer - or most of it is gone. So you have a little more time.

The standard in care for her type of cancer is usually surgery and chemo/rads, depending on how advanced it is etc... best of luck... and take care.

Welcome Jaymi,

So glad you found OCF so quickly. This is an excellent source of real life information from folks who have gone through the treatments and suffered all the side effects as well.

You seem to have a great jump on things so just keep going.
Good luck
don

Hi Jaymi,sorry that you have to come on the roller-coaster ride. However, you do have a circle of friends here who truly understand what you and your mom are going through.

I try to stay focused and take it a day at a day. I don't get ahead of myself because then I risk disappointing myself if I pitch my hopes too high or scaring myself to death over something that might or might not happen. I don't do yoga but I do deep breathing particularly at bedtime. It helps me to calm my overactive brain and makes sleeping easier. Good luck to you and your mom.

Hi Everyone...
thanks for all the warm welcomes and great advice and info.

today we have to go see her primary care to just get the referral for the oncologist. I hate this part of the system. The waiting is awful when you just want to know how good/bad the situation is. I guess we should get ready for a lot of times we need to be patient!

I will be back soon with updates and I am SURE a lot more questions!

well, we went to the oncologist, he looked for the lesion, where the pathology report said it was... and he couldn't find it! So, she has to be referred to an ENT so he can find it.
Is this normal?
To be honest, made us sigh a breath of relief to hear it was so small. Maybe that's counting our chickens before they hatch, but for now it made us feel better.
Now she goes for MRI, PET, bloodwork and then to meet the ENT next week.
Still no prognosis or real details about what is going on.

Patience.... (easier said than done!)