I was diagnosed with oral cancer in late November, biopsied, ct'd and scheduled for surgery Jan 31st. 12 hour surgery scheduled with removal of one-half of my palate with skin graft. 10 day hospital stay with two in intensive care. Expect to have radiation in a month. Scared, yet looking forward to getting something done. This waiting is worse than anything else. Trying so hard to let go of everything going on around me and concentrate on me getting well. Any suggestions on keeping my frustration level in control?

Audrey

Sorry for your diagnosis, Audrey, but welcome. Everyone is different in how they cope. Some need a game plan by writing out what needs to be done in preparation for, during and after surgery, not only medically, but with transportation, pets, mail, supplies, financially, meals, emotional support, etc. Then think how are you are going to do it, and what help do you need to do it. Some tasks need to be assigned or referred to others like family members, friends, and even volunteer organizations, church or the hospital. If not already, you probably will be treated by multidisciplinary team of doctors, such as ENT, RO, possibly MO, Speech and swallow therapist, pain Management, Nutritionist, Social Worker, and others who will also help, and have their own dates of appointments, suggestions, and their own care, and plan.

It also helps keeping busy. Some blog about their illness, research their illness to reduce fears, help understand it, and what is likely or less likely to occur, exercise, reading. This site helps knowing others have walked in your shoes, and can search other posts or post your own for discussion.

Waiting is the worst part, but good luck with everything.

Hi Audrey. So sorry you have to go through this.

Are you frustrated at the waiting? Or at some things going on outside of your health issue?

Yes, waiting is the hard part, and I understand the "let's get it done" feeling. In the meantime, um... Do you read? If so, read a lot of light reading, entertaining stuff.

If you have specific questions about your surgery, recovery, treatment after surgery, etc, then you have come to the right place! There are many people willing to offer suggestions on coping with all you are going through.

Is there anything specific you'd like to ask?

Good luck! You can do this!
:-)
Teresa

Audrey, welcome. We're here to help in any way we can. We all have our own coping (or non-) methods. Paul has made some excellent suggestions. Keeping busy is definitely a good way to make time pass. But be assured, you're on the right road. And you have a new family here now.

Courage!

Hi Audrey,
Welcome on-board the OCF bus. You do have a great base of knowledge and experience to draw on. I had feeling the effects of the lags but was able to explain them away sufficiently to be bearable. What worked for me was to look at it from the providers standpoint with their calendars chock full every day morning to night and having to juggle schedules to get you in. no wonder why some days or even a week can go by between appts. time just adds up like that.

last friday i saw MO who finalized my induction chemo plan. after consult they said to wait outside for orders. this is late friday afternoon, i see staff leaving, some lights going dark. i am thinking WTH, did the forget me? after an inquiry - hey i am still, don't lock me in foe the weekend, nurse comes out and plops down next to me and shows this long list of orders and appts. all starting as early as next couple days. The light went on as it became clear real fast they had to juggle lots of schedules to get me to fit in. i was very grateful for all their diligence and hard work late on a friday night.

Hi Audrey,

Sorry about your dx. We have all been on, or are still on, the roller-coaster ride either as patients or caregivers. We truly do understand what you are going through. Paul has given you some really good advice. During treatment, you will probably be too tired to even think clearly, so it is a good idea to give some thought to the daily chores and see if you can find someone to help you with them. You will need every oz of energy to fight the fight. Come to this board, ask questions, vent -- you are among friends here. Welcome!

Welcome to OCF, Audrey! Glad you have found this great site to help you. We can offer you tons of info and support. Its a good feeling knowing you arent in this alone. You have your own cheering section of fellow OC patients.

Try to stay busy to keep from worrying. Accepting the situation can be a hard one to manage but with time you can accept your illness. Eat everything you are able to now. Your sense of taste and swallowing function may be compromised for a while so eat now. Have a full blood count done including thyroid, get a hearing test and visit the dentist. Any questionable teeth need to be removed now and flouride trays need to be made. Lots to do to keep you busy preparing for the future treatments. Best to get these things done before the surgery.

Try to line up some helpers to drive you to your treatments. The American Cancer Society offers volunteer drivers, I occasionally will drive a patient. This can be a huge burden off a friend or relative who provides your transportation. When I went thru rads I used this service to help take the load off my son. Our trip was 45 minutes each way to the hospital. Living so far, I only had a driver about 3 times but it was a huge help.

Best wishes!!!

Hi... and welcome -

I too was like you. I wanted it out and over and done with. I had a few weeks wait during my healing process. During this time I went away on vacation... I know crazy right? But I figured at home I would cook and clean so I might as well have someone else do it for me and spend time with the family.

In the interim it is good to read up on what you are facing and prepare yourself for what is to come. It's not an easy treatment but it is doable. Best of luck and we'll be here to help and listen when the time comes.
hugs

Hi Audrey,

Control freak here, and I was frustrated with everything...waiting, having no control, trying to keep friends and family from panic, etc.

I also read up on everything I could get my hands on. Be careful though as some sites are not accurate.

I spent the week leading up working, and when not doing that I set up a schedule of visiting hours, what average times were for drains to come out and other recovery steps, flash cards for when I couldn't speak. I basically just kept super busy, so that the surgery wouldn't invade every thought.

Good luck!