My sister was diagnosed last July and runs a daycare in her home. I volunteered to watch her kids for her because she needs the money, especially with terrible insurance and cancer isn't cheap. I am 6 months into this now, exhausted from running her household and mine. She finished treatment November 4th but vomits just about every day, is losing weight to where she is a stick and is so depressed I want to cry all the time with her. Is there ever going to be a light at the end of this tunnel?

Welcome to OCF! So sorry to read about what your sister has gone thru. It has been very kind of you to help her so much.

Since she has only finished her treatments last month it still could be some time before she is able to completely resume all of her usual duties. Nutrition and hydration play a huge role in how well she is doing. If she cant keep down enough nutrition she isnt getting what she needs to rebuild her body. An oral cancer patient who still continues to lose weight that long after finishing treatment needs to have a good chat with their physician. By now she should be coming out of the tunnel where she is beginning to feel a little better. Depression is often a factor with oral cancer patients. Even caregivers sometimes seek out therapists and take anxiety meds right along with the OC patients.

You have alot on your shoulders! Hope your sister begins to improve very soon.

I suffered a bout of depression about 1 month out of treatment. My doctor prescribed some antidepresants for 1 month. That worked for me. He called it situational depression and said it is usualy short lived.

After that it takes some months before we start feeling better and are able to return to our normal routines. Things will slowly get better.

IMO she needs to be seen by a few docs ASAP. One to evaluate her overall and get her consuming at least 2500 cals and 48 ozs of water each and every day and obviously to make sure nothing other than recovery from her treatment is wrong with her. The second doc I would see is one that would pay attention to her depression.

You also could use some TLC right now. This is a great, a huge thing you have done for your sis and she will appreciate it once she is able to see the light at the end of this ordeal. Hang in there but do see that she gets to see these docs.

I would also remove your e mail from the general forum.

Curlee,
as a caregiver, I suffered through RA/Lupus flares (stress-related) that were finally diagnosed a little over a year ago - so I totally understand where you are coming from. I found that meditation helped me to manage a bit better.

As others have mentioned, nutrition is a big issue for your sister, and it may be one for you if you are not eating right either. Is there any way you could go with her to see a nutritionist?
Maria

Her husband and I have decided to condense doctors. She was seeing a gastroenterologist, radiologist, oncologist (2 separate ones), general practitioner and I don't know how many other ancillary support people. Over christmas, I made chicken soup (broth and everything from scratch) and beef vegetable soup (made my own broth too) so I could be sure there was no sodium in it for her. She has been eating that (small amounts) but her husband wants her to eat the soup first and then the jevity 30 minutes later because the jevity seems to upset her stomach some. She is fighting with him about it, she wants to do the jevity and the soup immediately following. How much do you argue with her to follow your regimine and not hers?

If the jevity upsetting her tummy then you need to speak to her nutrionist or the nutritionist where you get the food from. They can change either the feeding schedule or the nutrtion to a differetn density that is easy on the tummy. I would also request some anti-nausea meds from the MO. You should also be checking her residuals between feedings. You might want to try a little more time between the soup and the jevity to allow her to digest a little.

If the formula is upsetting her stomach it could be several things besides which choice of formula. There are hundreds of different formulas on the market. The most common things which will upset a feeding tube users stomach are the speed in which they are fed and the density of the formula.

If you dont have a pump, ask the doc for a prescription for one. By doing overnight feedings it is easier to get enough in. This way water can be added to thin it down and make it easier to tolerate. Next is speed. I was unable to do the gravity or push methods of feeding. Both would make me sick to my stomach no matter how slow it went. Thats why I got the pump so it could slowly drip overnight.

For sensitive stomachs the patient should sit still for at least 30 minutes after being 'fed'. Feedings should always be done propped up up pillows or sitting up.

I dont think it makes a big difference which comes first, just so she is taking it all in is whats most important.

Curlee,
I commend you for doing this great and difficult karma-forward act by helping your sister, but from my own experience the depression must be dealt with. Now. It affected (and still creeps into) EVERY aspect of life. My healing and quality of life is definitely affected by my "inside job". Seek a qualified doc that she has a good rapport with-I've had to go through a few so far but being able to communicate openly and honestly is, to me, a major factor in actually seeing results. Depression is a continually recurring obstacle that can rob and undo much hard won effort very quickly.
I don't want to harp on it, but don't ignore your own feelings, either. If you "want to cry" all the time, it is of course, only human-and we all need release from time to time; but I find that I respond much more positively to my own or someone else's habitually positive frame of mind.
Much love, many prayers, and positive strength
Gordon