What an amazing spirit comes through in these posts. You are inspiring.

My mother was diagnosed with oral cancer,left side,with two lymph nodes involved.It has spread "superficially"to the mandible, in April 2004. She never smoked. She had two extractions and started 4 weeks of radiation May 31st.

The rub is, she is bearing down on her 92nd birthday. She keeps reminding me she beat cancer twice before ( breast cancerin her late forties and again at 81) and will again. Each time it has been a primary. She's pretty amzaing but she started radiation at 95 pounds fully dressed (She has shrunk over the years from 5'2" to 4'10"). I got her up to 99 pounds before radiation started by stuffing her with whipping cream and avocado mushed with olive oil( we made
jokes about me being the witch in the Gingerbread House) but now,with two weeks still to go, she can barely get custard down. I have read all sorts of posts in which people refer to losing 40 or 50 pounds. Does anyone know of people who started off rake thin, and what happens to them? Does anyone here have a relative of that age and frailty who has survived?Oh, I should have told you that when she was diagnosed, everyone told me the treatment would be palliative only. Everyone, that is, except the radiation oncologist, who said he thought he had a 60% chance of getting rid of it forever.

Luckily, my mother has not had surgery, so I am hoping that makes a difference.

I am also concerned to read here about sugar possibly feeding cancers, since I fed her so much sweet stuff to plump her up

Thanks,
"Worried daughter"

Hi "Worried Daughter",
Welcome to the forum. I am really sorry that your mother has to go through all of this at her age, especially after fighting cancer twice already in her life. Head and neck cancers are kind of nasty because of their sensitive location.

I also had radiation (and chemo) only. I lost 60 lbs because I refused to get a PEG tube. The chemo was pretty rough - it might be easier on your mother since you didn't mention that she is getting chemo. Radiation is very hard treatment -many say worse than surgery. The effects peak out starting towards the end of treatment and continue for several weeks after the end of treatment. Her taste buds are probably already wiped out but they will start to recover several weeks after the end of radiation.

Most people are able to maintain their weight, which is necessary for healing, with a PEG tube. The body needs fuel and sugar is a fast way to get it - don't worry about feeding the cancer. My doctor ordered me to eat ice cream. She is very thin to start out with so working closely with a nutritionist and possibly a PEG tube will be critical for her care. You should meet with the nutritionist weekly.

Stay on top of pain management -it is also vital.

Thrush and infections are other areas to be watchful for. Radiation does a number on the immune system and also causes xerostomia (dry mouth).

Welcome Worried Daughter,

I'm sorry to hear your mom is having to go through this - God bless her, at her age, for already beating cancer twice. She's done it before, she can do it again! Although I'm much, much younger than your mom, I too am petite (only 4'11") and before treatments weighed maybe 90 pounds soaking wet. I had surgery, chemo and radiation and all told I lost about 10 pounds. I agree with Gary - get a PEG tube for your mom. I had the tube inserted during my surgery and used it daily for my nutrition which is SO important during radiation. After 8 1/2 months of faithful use I was able to bid the feeding tube a fond adieu!

I'm glad you're able to be there for your mom - she'll need you more than ever. Keep strong.

Nancy

Thank you both. I am going through a heavy learning curve and so grateful for what people here are sharing. I hadn't even thought of consulting a nutritionist and guess I better add that to the list.

By the way,Gary, mother so far flatly refuses any pain relief, even Liquid tylenol. She nursed during WW11 and always says she knows what REAL pain looks like. She actually let her appendix burst many years ago, rather than bother my dad in the middle of the night. It worries me a lot.

WD

Dear WD,
Re: pain meds
You tell your mother that I was a nurse during Viet Nam and I, too, know real pain. The folks in here have it! She knows full well that pain control is vital to her recovery. Your mom is a strong woman.....just needs a nudge to take those meds. God bless you both!
Judy U

Dear Worried Daughter,

Welcome to our community! I am sorry to hear your mother is having to battle such a rough cancer after two successful battles and especially at her age. She is so fortunate to have you by her side. Just keep in mind, the best baseball players only hit the ball about 30% of the time. I admire your mother for her strong spirit and I believe this is what will carry her through anything.

As everyone else is tellng you, nutrition is the key. If you have to use sugar to boost the calories, don't worry about it. Keep her strong and well hydrated. I would look at the PEG tube, too, if you haven't already. The throat will get very painful and swallowing may be more of a chore than she can handle for a period of time. Remind her she can bite on a bullet for pain but chronic pain does not help the body heal. Pain management has come a long way since WWII (and Viet Nam). With all that is available today, there is no reason a person should have to fight through pain.

Try not to worry and take it one day at a time. Good luck and best wishes for a speedy recovery for your mother.

Ed

Hi WD,
older people have wierd ideas about pain meds. It's almost like we're going to rip them off or kill them with it. My Dad wouldn't take anything stronger than tylenol when he was dying of non-hodgkins lymphoma. It is proven to improve the healing process.

There is absolutely no way I would have gotten through this without major opioid, long term pain management, medications. I never once even felt anything even resembling a buzz - it just took the edge off. Why suffer unnecessarily? She's obviously tougher than I am!

Thanks, all. I like your stories - thanks especially for the WWll and Vietnam references- I shall use them. My mother actually- reluctantly - started tylenol with codeine two days ago and now we have a script for something to numb the back of the throat. Apart from being thought a wimp she is anxious about constipation. Not sure how to get fibre into her since she is drinking milkshakes by the teaspoon,literally.

The last week of radiation is coming up. I understand it keeps working for 2-3 weeks after that so I anticipate a downhill slope for awhile.
I may call on you agtain! thanks, until then.
WD

WD, some of us felt better within days of the end of radiation. It is possible that she will too. It sounds like she is doing quite well so far. As far as pain is concerned I really think that most adults can decide for themselves when they need pain management. In my opinion you need not push the issue unless you see a problem.

Take care