I have implemented a couple of these and am working on other things to help with keeping my mind busy and also lifting my spirits up as well as my loved one.

1. I started a prayer chain. Each day at the same time I have contacted family and friends and have asked them to say a prayer for my daughter at this time. So you get the effect of several people praying at the same time all across the world. I have told them they don't have to do it every day, but once a week would be appreciated.

2. I have taken her favorite color and am making bows to send to family and friends and have asked them to tie it around a tree, hang in on their rear view mirror or hanging in their home. And then to send a picture of them where it is displayed and send it to my daughter, so that she sees how many people are praying for her and love her.

3. I have contacted a friend who is working with her church to host a garage/bake sale in my daughter's honor. With all proceeds (except giving the church 10%) going in a savings account for her so that she may use that for co-pays (if she still has insurance, and you know how many people are going with out insurance) medicine, gas, and the cost of organic food.

4. Pity Party-this is not the usual pity party. I am throwing one with a twist. Everyone know the difficult situation my daughter is going through and I don't want this to go to far and make it so depressing that it has the opposite effect that I want it to have, so I have asked everyone to think of one thing they want to share with everyone about pity they need. Then everyone shares an idea on how to help with that situation or problem. Everyone will certainly have a good cry. Then watch a movie. Not a real tear jerker, but something that your loved one would enjoy to bring a smile to their face. And of course eat. End the party with a prayer asking for strength for everyone as they face their struggles. Everyone will get a brown sack with kleenex, a smiley face sticker, an orange pin (like the cancer pin everyone wears in my daughter's favorite color) and a small perennial plant for people to grow and give love to it, again with thinking about my daughter when they see it everyday.

5. Find a flower in your loved one's favorite color and ask people to plant one in their honor. Since spring is coming up hold a garden party at their home or yours. Create a garden for your loved one and ask guests to bring a flower or plaque have food, and sit back and enjoy the beauty. Don't forget to name it like "Bethany's Garden of Healing" or "Debbie's Garden of Sunshine"

6. I as her care giver I send out email updates on her behalf so that everyone is updated and we don't have to repeat things to everyone. And have asked them to send her jokes, inspirational messages, funny pictures, etc.

These are things that you can get family and friends to help with so that they may feel useful. You know they feel helpless and don't know what to do.

I hope this might help in some small way

Letitia,

Those are all wonderful ideas, well thought out and really...amazing.

I'm a bit of a smart allec (not my first choice of descriptive words but I don't wish to offend!) however I do have a serious side when I need to.

I use books, movies, music and motivated, inspirational people to help keep my mind/emotions in check. During treatment your daughter may need chemical assistance to help with the anxiety, fear, depression etc...and that's OK too. In my humble (not that I can really use that word to describe myself) opinion, mental and emotional well being should be priority #1 and be assisted by any means necessary.

Good job by the way...keep up the good work!

Eric