I am really trying to fight the paranoia that comes with cancer. I have a surgery date 2 weeks today - as you will see from my sig. My cancer is stage two 2.7 cm - and pretty much everything else is clear - based on the scans etc.. But I have a bit of an ear ache - and a sore chin... Now - the earache I had before Christmas and my regular GP said it was a little red and gave me antibiotic which I didn't take - it doesn't hurt all the time just ocassionally and my chin is the same - I think it may be tension ( in my chin - if it press it it doesn't hurt - it's more like muscle pain ) am I being paranoid that the cancer has spread - or should I call my surgeon in a panic? It could be referred pain from tongue lesion - I have read this.
For the most part I am optimistic about all this. I know here are no guarantees in this life - but every once in a while I have a moment of panic - and paranoia - it's almost like I find myself questioning every ache and pain in my head!
It's frustrating!

Oh Cheryl - I know it is so hard to keep your cool when all the "what ifs" start assaulting your mind. It really takes a lot of effort to keep the negative thoughts away. Try to think of all the good things that could happen or that already have happened like the clear Chest CT and the MRI clear. Push the negative out and replace with nice happy things. When those thoughts come, accept them, but give them a very short time limit like 3 minutes or less, then go to a happy or funny thought. What helped me was doing something physical, even if it was forcing myself to vacuum at 3am, or doing toe touches, or whatever you like to do - maybe eat chocolate, take a relaxing bath, read, etc. Is it at all possible to move up the surgery date so you don't have to wait so long? Maybe if you can express your anxiety to the doctor or have someone call for you, they might move it up or at least give you something to help calm the nerves. It couldn't hurt to at least ask. Hope things go easier for you. Keep us updated. I'll be sending positive vibes your way.

Hi Cheryl. Your surgery date is getting closer and it is not at all unusual for your brain to begin having a little fun with you by throwing in a few extra irrelevant symptoms just to keep you busy. I have said this many times, but cancer is a thief. Do not let it steal days it doesn't deserve. You have to give it surgery and recovery days, but don't give it any others!!

Force your mind to other people or things. Quite often the best way to get "outside of yourself" while you are waiting is to volunteer somewhere or do something for someone you know who is in need. Truly a Win/Win.

You have an early stage cancer so all good - get it treated and then work hard to "return to your regularly scheduled programming"!!

Hugs to my fellow Canuck.

Donna

Sending love and wishing you peace to quiet your fears. I don't have much else to offer because I'm new. Please take comfort in knowing you are comforting others...as you have done for me.

ps. Too bad the kitten is so far away

Sandy

I'm having my partial glossectomy two days before you and totally understand your fears. They will be expanding upon some surgery I had in October 2010 because not all the carcinoma in situ was removed at that time. Periodically I feel pain behind the old scar and sometimes it refers up into my ear which sends my brain into a tizzy- but like you all my scans came back clear so that is what we both must focus on. Best of luck on the 4th! I'll be thinking about you!!!

Why didnt you take the antibiotic? If you didnt want to take it why didnt you talk with your doctor about it? When I go to the doctor, I follow what they tell me and if I think otherwise I speak up and discuss it. Im sorry you are upset but you need to follow what your doc tells you. He must have a reason to prescribe the antibiotic. Best wishes with everything.

Cheryl...you're in Canada....vaporize some Cheeba and let the worries fade into giggles and a bag of Doritos

Seriously, if you need help getting your head or emotions in check, use chemical assistance. Personally script anti anxiety meds or antidepressants never worked for me but if you're not an Medical MJ person ask your Dr something to help you out until you can get them in check.

Breath and believe my dear, none of it's in your control so why worry? Enjoy the now...and I'm going to by taking another hit
Now where did I put those cookies?


Keep your chin up!

Eric

Of course you are paranoid - who wouldn't be? You're allowed.

I have been through cancer 3 times with my mother who was very forthcoming with her fears and had to wait 3 months for a kidney removal for renal cancer. She described exactly what you are saying. Unfortunately no matter how much you rationalise, there is that little voice in the back of your head that is telling you the cancer is spreading. Not so.

Try some positive talk - everytime you catch yourself thinking about the pain or cancer, firmly tell yourself that treatment is being taken care of in XX days, time to think about xxx. I try and work out in my head how long it would take me to travel to a place at a certain speed when I am "churning" about something (but I am peculiar ). I am sure you can think of something more interesting, but you need to work out what you are going to distract yourself with ahead of time and then make it complicated enough that other thoughts can't drift back. If they do, tell yourself again until that evil little voice goes away.

Sounds a bit airy fairy but it works for me and it worked for my mother - she re-decorated her lounge room in her head and then progressed to drawing her ideas on bits of paper and after surgery, moved house so she could REALLY decorate!!

Cheryl,

I can relate to this 100%. I had such anxiety over cancer and ended up seeing a therapist to help me deal with it. It may be something you want to consider but I allowed myself to get pretty upset so you may not need it. Just something to think about.

As far as calling your doctor...I would say yes. Any time you are unsure of something I would call. The doctor can ease your mind. I know it's hard to belive now, but you will get used to this life.

Hang in there...remember you have the support of all everyone here. We are here for you 24/7:)

I did reply to you all but for some reason it's not here.... I wanted to thank you all again for your kindness. I was stupid not to take the antibiotics so I am taking them now, though I think it may be referred pain from the hole in my tongue - regardless it will hopefully be gone after surgery -
No doubt replaced by other pain! But I am hopeful that the surgery gets everything.
Its not a constant state of fretting for me - I guess I am just wishing my surgery were sooner and that is playing head games with me. Ultimately - there is nothing I can do about it at this point - since the surgery is booked - so I will give it a moment of thought and then banish it - my yoga helped this morning! Thanks again you all are amazing - be blessed in your journeys! And Eric - you kill me!