my husband says i dont have cancer even though the dr says i do (byopsy results say oral carsonoma),he keeps telling me nothing is wrong and doesnt want me to talk to anyone about this, ive held all my feelings in since january i need to talk about this im scared and confused!

Having read both of your posts it's easy to see why you scared and confused. The only thing I can offer (aside from sympathy) is to go to your local American Cancer Society and I hope they can help you out.

After reading your other post (you should just continue on one of these posts only so we can follow the details of what is happening) What does your husband know about anything? Where did he get his medical degree from? Would allowing you to see the appropriate people be some kind of hardship on him? You need to be your own advocate here and do what you think is best. Doing nothing is not an option.

Lisa, welcome to OCF. I am so glad you have found this group. You need our help!!!! First if you dont mind me asking, how old are you? It is very very important that you get treatment for this. This is life or death. Please go to a cancer center immediately. I have added a link to the cancer centers at the bottom of this post.

When I hear of spouses acting like yours it makes me very upset. Your husband is so lucky to have you. Sometimes unfortunately spouses do not fully realize how lucky they are to have a person who loves them. He should also join OCF if for nothing else to understand how important it is to get treatment for this.

I wish you all the best. Please keep posting so we are able to help guide you along.



http://oralcancerfoundation.org/resources/index.htm#centers

Hi Lisa
It appears your husband is confused about the definition of carcinoma which is a common misunderstanding. "Carcinoma" is another word for cancer but means that it is likely early stage -not pre-cancerous as some people think.

It is also possible that you heard one thing and your husband heard something completely different so at the very least you need to go back to the doctor for clarification. Immediately. Treatment for oral cancer that has not spread is a whole lot easier and more successful than one that has.

Lisa, where are you in Arizona? I'm in Mesa. Let me know if you are near me. Maybe we can get together and talk.

Lisa, please follow the great advice here. Find a doctor to talk to about your situation. Keep comming back here we will support you.

Bloop,
I live in chino valley,az, but my uncle is in east phoenix and i come down as often as i can to see him i would enjoy getting together to talk.
Lisa

Oh wow, you are way up north!! E-mail me at [email protected] or PM me next time you will be in Phoenix. I'd enjoy getting together too. I haven't met anyone in person from this forum even though I feel they're the only ones who understand me. My family seems to think since I'm done with radiation and chemo I should just be back to my old self now.

Barbara

bloop19, can i ask did you get all your teeth pulled? My boyfriend did and they told him at first he should be fine for dentures in 6 mo than the last time he went I guess the radiologist put a kabash on that saying he may never be able to get them. I wasn't there so I don't know exactly what he said. Maybe Ron just heard it wrong. Have you gotten dentures?

Dear Lisa,

Sounds like your husband is in total denial. PLEASE go to a cancer center and talk to a Doctor about your situation. This is nothing to mess around with....it's life or death. If this has been going on since January, that's 9 months ago. I don't want to scare you, but you don't want to wait any longer. Keep coming back here. We're all here to support you.

Hugs,

Shelley

Didn't you follow up after talking to the Dr. that gave you the diagnosis? I don't think you husband is qualified to say you don't have cancer. You need to seek another opinion before you end up dead.

Lisa, I want to explain that you can be very ill and not know it. During the summer of 2009, I felt great. I was active and finally getting back to my old pre cancer self. I had a biopsy done at the hunch of the physician's assistant in my ENTs office. I never for a second thought I was sick. I completed a 25 mile bike ride. The very next day I was told I am a stage IV oral cancer patient. It was the third time I had cancer in 3 years.

Please run to the nearest cancer center and get treated!!!! You have already put this off too long, get moving!!!! Here at OCF we are trying to look out for your best interests. Please help yourself be around if not for yourself, for your family. They need to understand that a person doesnt always show signs of being sick even when they are very ill.

This is a post that you can print out and leave lying around where your husband or sons will see it. You need to get started right away so its easier to treat.

Yes, Suez, I had all my teeth pulled at the advice of my radiologist. She wanted me to wait at LEAST a year before getting dentures, but I ignored her and got dentures just so I could go out in public. But I really can't wear them very long or eat with them very well. I just wear them to go to bingo or whatever and take them out when I get home because she was probably right and my gums won't really be ready for dentures until January - I finished treatment last January. So I wouldn't really suggest hurrying like I did 'cause it's not working for me. Thank goodness I did get a dentist who will make adjustments for me for a year free of charge so hopefully they'll be okay some day.