| | Joined: Aug 2009 Posts: 9 Member | OP  Member
Joined: Aug 2009 Posts: 9 | My name is Tammy and I am the wife of a newly diagnosed head and neck cancer patient. He has had a biopsy that did not actually reveal the origin of his cancer, but is being treated for at least four tumors in the right side of his head near the tonsil. He is currently undergoing Radiation and Chemotherapy at the same time. He is having a peg put in today as his mouth in week 3 is too sore to swallow or eat. Hubert is 63 and has been a heavy smoker for his entire life. His tumors were too advanced for any surgery. The hard part is that we live in a tiny town in southeast Arkansas where treatment is not a possibility at all. He is having to live in Hot Springs with my parents so that he can get to Little Rock every day for his treatments. He is severely depressed at this time and feels that he is wasting his energy and time even treating this disease. He believes he is going to die from this cancer anyway. Is there any way that I can get him some stories of people who survived this??
Thanks.. | | | | | Joined: Aug 2009 Posts: 4 Member | | Member
Joined: Aug 2009 Posts: 4 | Tammy, I am new here too and I don't have any answers for you, but I will keep you and your husband in my thoughts and prayers.
Susan (daughter to Mary Ellen)
| | | | | Joined: May 2007 Posts: 666 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: May 2007 Posts: 666 | Tammy it is way to soon to give up.
One thing is for sure, giving up the treatment will totally reduce his chances. There are many here who were successfully treated and are enjoying life. To be sure the treatment is not fun (!). You might see if there is anything his team(?) can do re depression.
you might show him this site?
M
Partial glossectomy (25%) anterior tongue. 4/6/07/. IMRT start @5/24/07 (3x) Erbitux start/end@ 5/24/07. IMRT wider field (30x) start 6/5/07. Weekly cisplatin (2x30mg/m2), then weekly carbo- (5x180mg/m2). End of Tx 19 July 07.
| | | | | Joined: Apr 2005 Posts: 2,219 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Apr 2005 Posts: 2,219 | Tammy,
There are many survivors here that were Stage IV and thought that they would never make it. Some had to be prodded by our family here to go through with treatment. We can do a good job at that if your husband gives us a chance.
For sure, if he stops treatment, he will die from this disease.
Jerry
Jerry
Retired Dentist, 59 years old at diagnosis. SCC of the left lateral border of the tongue (Stage I). Partial glossectomy and 30 nodes removed, 4/6/05. Nodes all clear. No chemo no radiation 18 year survivor.
"Whatever doesn't kill me, makes me stronger"
| | | | | Joined: Aug 2009 Posts: 9 Member | | OP Member
Joined: Aug 2009 Posts: 9 | Jerry:
I know this and an encouraging him daily that he can get through this with help from his friends and family. Thanks for the kind words. If I can get him to log on, I will..
Tammy | | | | | Joined: Aug 2009 Posts: 9 Member | | OP Member
Joined: Aug 2009 Posts: 9 | Susan:
Thanks for the prayers. Every little bit of support I can muster I am appreciative of. My parents, God bless them, are the ones doing most of the caregiving, because I have to work, and we live three hours away from the treatment center and his excellent doctors. We are all trying to deal with his negative attitude as best we can, and the doctors are trying to get him to take some anti-depressants, but it is hit and miss.
Tammy | | | | | Joined: Feb 2004 Posts: 598 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Feb 2004 Posts: 598 | Tammy -- If you can get him on this site, there are tons of stories of Stage IV long-term survivors. Fear and depression are normal, but the more active he can be, both mentally and physically, the easier it will be for him to get through treatment.
Been there, done that, got the T-Shirt!! We are all here to help!
Jeff
SCC Right BOT Dx 3/28/2007
T2N2a M0G1,Stage IVa
Bilateral Neck Dissection 4/11/2007
39 x IMRT, 8 x Cisplatin Ended 7/11/07
Complete response to treatment so far!!
| | | | | Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 8,311 Senior Patient Advocate Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Senior Patient Advocate Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 8,311 | Tammy,
If he would like to talk to someone, have him call me @ 727-322-5669 during the day, EST. As everyone has said it won't matter what Stage he is if he stops Tx as he will die, no if's ands or buts. Remind him that his Tx will is only for 6 to 7 weeks and that is nothing in comparison to the rest of his potential life. I won't lie to you and say he is guaranteed to
be cured by this Tx but I would rather go out fighting than just give up without a battle.
We are all here to help the both of you and your parents.
David
Age 58 at Dx, HPV16+ SCC, Stage IV BOT+2 nodes, non smoker, casual drinker, exercise nut, Cisplatin x 3 & concurrent IMRT x 35,(70 Gy), no surgery, no Peg, Tx at Moffitt over Aug 06. Jun 07, back to riding my bike 100 miles a wk. Now doing 12 Spin classes and 60 outdoor miles per wk. Nov 13 completed Hilly Century ride for Cancer, 104 miles, 1st Place in my age group. Apr 2014 & 15, Spun for 9 straight hrs to raise $$ for YMCA's Livestrong Program. Certified Spin Instructor Jun 2014.
| | | | | Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 5,260 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 5,260 | Tammy, He can beat this like a lot of us did. Just boot his butt and show him this site. Once he starts to read it he just gethooked like a lot of us did. He is just a young guy yet too and that is in his favor, Don't tell anyone, but I am 73 1/2. LOL Good luck and you are both in my prayers and thoughts.
Since posting this. UPMC, Pittsburgh, Oct 2011 until Jan. I averaged about 2 to 3 surgeries a week there. w Can't have jaw made as bone is deteroriating steaily that is left in jaw. Mersa is to blame. Feeding tube . Had trach for 4mos. Got it out April.
--- Passed away 5/14/14, will be greatly missed by everyone here
| | | | | Joined: Dec 2008 Posts: 1,004 Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | | Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)
Joined: Dec 2008 Posts: 1,004 | Hi Tammy and welcome to OCF.
The beginning of this disease can be so hard. You hear the news, go to specialists and learn words you never wanted to learn. You are thrusted into this new life head first (seriously) then the emotional part comes. He must continue his treatment and with the support of you and other family he can do it. I would highly suggest getting him to this site. When I found this site I realized I was not alone and that changed everything for me.
Suzanne
***********
T1 SCC on right side of tongue
Age 31...27 when diagnosed
4 partial glossectomies
No chemo or radiation
Biopsy on 2/2/10-Clear
Surgery needed again...no later than April 2011
Loving life and just became a mother on 11/25/10
It's not what we CAN'T do..it's what we CAN do:)
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