It is of vital importance that you have a coordinated medical team, consisting of at least an H&N surgeon, MO and RO. A tumor board should also add a great deal of reassurance as to putting all of your options, risks and benefits on the table. Having 3 doctors across town from each other is very risky business - not recommended.

You are wise getting a support team built up now. Churches are great resources for this kind of thing as well as the local ACS chapter. ACS will reimburse for mileage over 60 miles/day to a certain limit. Sometimes they can provide drivers as well. Have some back up drivers lined up. Take care of yourself and allow people to gift you with their help. Find people to give you some respite care as things progress. A cancer support group and/or social worker may be able to provide additional resources as well.