Wow, so many emotions running high for me right now. I thought if I came here and vented... my cyber family could totally relate and lift me up. smile

I have been to visit my parents the last two days, and I am completely shocked and saddened by how much worse my Dad looks in just two weeks. His treatments ended Tuesday, so I know the next few weeks are going to be rough from what I have read here. He looks so frail, his skin is greyish in color, and his neck is bright red, peeling, and oozing. I know all this is typical but for the first time, I was totally thrown back by it. He is very depressed and hardly said a word while I was there. To top it all off, I can tell it is taking its toll on Mom now. She is depressed too. I try to do everything I can, from taking Mom grocery shopping, to watering her plants, and trying to make Dad laugh (he DID crack a smile a few times which made me happy.) But I just feel so helpless. I know that what they are going through is expected, and that I am doing all I can, but it doesn't make it any easier. frown I want to just make it all better, and I can't. I'm scared and worried for the both of them. I always knew that one day, the roles would be reversed, and I would take care of them... but jeez, I'm 40, and my parents are 60 and 63. This is so hard for me to grasp. My Mom even told me that she is not old enough for me to be a mother to her yet. HAHA. I think the news about all that Jim is going through, Brenda's passing, and all the other stories I have been reading have really hit me hard. Sometimes I think, "Take a break form the board and absorb it all." BUT... this board is my lifeline right now. It is the only way I can even remotely understand what is going on and try to cope. I am also able to give my parents real life scenarios of what you are all going through, and have them hear from those going through it, not just Dr's telling them to hang in there, and not have the actual experience of living through the symptoms, the pain, and the emotional turmoil. I hope this post makes sense, and that I have not rambled too much. Thank you for listening. It means so much to have you all.

Dad: Age 65 Heavy smoker/drinker. Biopsy-No surgery. Cancer base of tongue/throat. "Invasive Squamous Carcinoma RRT" --Beginning 1/9/08: IMRT treatments (5X/wk),chemo pills (4/day) and Chemo IV (once/wk) PEG tube inserted 1/25/08. Treatments ended 2/26/08

JUNE 30, 2008 Officially CANCER FREE!!!