It's very kind of you to help her. This kind of thing is what I find so frustrating as a caregiver. Part of our job is to glean and categorize info because the patient is too involved/upset. The other part is to constantly question everything. I found that most of the problems that occur within a major cancer center are communication problems and it's the caregiver's job to ensure that even the tiniest details have passed onto the right people. It's a very delicate dance.
I bristle when he was not given choices and was fearful about our ability to make the right decisions when he was.
My Dad increasingly gave me more influence over his treatment decisions which was a frightening responsibility.
They went down a list of side effects with Dad before he started and said likely or unlikely. They never said possible utter freaking NIGHTMARE! But I knew that already from here...And could only give him the info piecemeal.