My mom went to see an intern at the ENT's office on friday. I waited until today to post because we had a birthday party for my 3 year old daughter yesterday and today I can finally let myself cry. Her ENT was in surgery all day Thursday and Friday so he could not see her but the intern talked to him when she was checking my mom. Her findings were inconclusive so she scheduled a CT scan for Monday and we will get the results of that on Wednesday. She said that her concern is not the swelling but that the area is hard. I felt it and it is hard and its tender to the touch but that could just be from her putting popsicle sticks in her mouth to try to open it more. She is able to open it a little more each day. I am so scared right now and my mind keeps racing back and forth trying to convince myself that everything is ok. My fear is that she has had the maximum dose of radiation so what happens if the cancer is back? I don't know if she could endure more surgery after everything she has already been through. I am litterally sick to my stomach....

For those that knew me going through my mom's battle when she was diagnosed the first time I was 4 months pregnant with Keeley my mom's first grandchild and I kept saying...I just want Keeley to know her gramma because she is such an awesome person. Last Tuesday when I was putting Keeley to sleep she said, "I want my gramma" I said which gramma? and she said my big gramma. My mom is 5'8 and my husbands mom is 5'0 so I knew she was talking about my momma. I called her right away and let know what she said. She was sooo happy and this was before I knew there was anything going with her face. My mom spent last weekend with us everything was fine so I'm in shock that all of this just happened overnight...

I wish I had some reassurance that everything would be ok...

Thanks for listening.
Dani