Thank you everyone. I felt like I was breaking earlier, feeling a little stronger now. I think I am exhausted and plain old scared. Going through treatment was a lot easier. Watching all these changes she's going through scares me. Tonight I walked up to say goodnight, she was lying on her bed, asleep on her back, with her mouth open, face swollen and holding her lidocaine viscous....writing this has me in tears again. It didn't even look like her. I want my mom back....the lady who used to smile all the time, enjoying life. This is so hard on her and my dad. My Nana called tonight, she's 90, asking why she isn't getting any better....I think she is in so many ways. Then again...is that just wishful thinking? I pray everynight that she will wake up comfortable=normal. I feel like a 10 yr old complaining-it's just I don't know how to fix it.
I am confused, about a month ago she seemed so much better.
I think I will call the doctor this week. I can;t sleep, settle or think straight.
Thanks again. I think it's just a bad spell on my part.
Love,
Donna