Wendy,

Welcome and you are not a three headed monster! Your F-I-L is lucky to have someone with your knowledge in his corner. As you said, being in the health care business is both a blessing and a curse. It will help that you will be able to translate a lot of the medical information for him, or make the doctors make sure he understands exactly what is going on. Like you, I have always worked in hospitals and had access to tons of information which has been of benefit to my family but a curse to me in that I always assume and prepare for the worst and am surprised and pleased with better outcomes.

It may be hard for you to do what social workers do in these situations, work out the best scenario for the patient, and you should have resources available to you so it doesn't all fall on you to do. Utilize the lists you have of in home caretakers and visitors, plan for meals on wheels to visit daily during the week and contact the ACS or churches to work out a schedule of getting him to his treatments. This is your turn to shine, and you will be glad once you get past the initial shock that you have the knowledge you have, and use it for yourself and your family.

I have been the advocate for both my parents in their declining years and found it helped make up for all the years of torment I gave them as a willful teenager! It isn't your dad, but it will greatly help your husband for you to step up and make sure his dad gets what he needs, and know it doesn't have to come from you personally.

Sincerely,
Lisa