Cindy,

I am sorry to see you anguish so. I remember at one point my neck being a bloody mess and spending a couple of days in the hospital. The doctors offered me an ambulance ride to keep going to radiation and I jumped on it. However, my idea of an "ambulance" ride was to get in the back and whisk over to the radiation center, 3 blocks away. An elderly gentleman in cowboy boots and a cowboy hat advised me he was her to offer me an ambulance ride. When we got out to the parking lot he showed me to his plain, white van and my rapid heartbeat slowed down immediately.

I remember the blood oozing out of my neck and thinking just a few more days and somehow finding the resolve to just make it one more day. I think my wife would have insisted on not stopping the treatment but if I really didn't want to, I would hope she would have supported that, given the treatment plan would only be postponed by that one or two treatments I missed. I read in your posts how much you love your husband and wonder if there was a gentle way to raise your concerns in a firm but friendly way. It is the bottling up of emotions that makes the process unbearable and when two people love each other like you do, a few sentences sometimes prevents a major blowup.

Best wishes to both of you.

Ed