Well, I only hope I have a good attitude once the chemo/rad starts. I'm not sure considering what a whiner I was last night and this morning at the hospital after having the PEG and the port put in.
They told me they were using "conscious anesthesia" when they inserted the PEG. First of all, as a student of the psychology of consciousness, I have never liked the term "conscious anesthesia" being used to mean "you'll be conscious at the time and it might hurt but you won't rememeber". Second, this is the second time (a colonoscopy 4 years ago was the first) where i had a "conscious anesthesia" procedure, it was VERY painful/uncomfortable, and I DO remember it.
I remember gagging on the tube with the camera that they put down your throat (but thinking that since I was so dopey it really wasn't so bad) but then I also remember writhing in pain when they inserted the tube. The gastroenterologist, who is a nice guy and got me in at the last minute for this, later told me that he thinks it's actually easier and not such a big deal when people have already wasted away a little bit, are malnourished, and haven't been using their stomach or stomach muscles much lately. With someone relatively healthy gets it done head of time for radaition he said he has noticed it seems to be more painful (during and after the surgery). Anyway, I don't know if that's why, but today (over 24 hours later) I feel like a large horse gave me a good kick in the stomach (I did have had that happen once too, years ago) and last night just the use of stomach muscle it took to stand up straight was almost too much for me!
That's whine number one, whine number two is that I seem to be running a low fever, maybe just a reaction ot all the surgery, but after that last post-surgery infection, I'm worried about that. We also had to wait around the hospital all day today just for both surgeons to come around and approve my release which was a drag.
I'm still planning on seeing some friends tommorrow, though, before radiation starts. They are coming here, though, and I told them I wouldn't have much energy for going out anywhere.
