Hi,

we are in a state of choc. When everything seemed to go well, David felt a lump on his left side of neck two weeks ago. He didn't tell me anything to avoid the panic button. We were on a ski trip with the kids for the spring break ( yes, it is spring in New Zealand!!) and it was my birthday as well.

The following week, he went for his 6 week f-up and the ENT felt the lump. Again I knew nothing. The ENT proceeded with a FNA on the spot. David went back this past Wednesday and it came back positive with SCC. And again I knew nothing. Wednesday night after putting the kids to bed, I went to watch a bit of TV and relax. David got in the TV room, closed the door, closed the TV and sat down beside me saying with tears in his eyes that he had bad news. I NEVER saw this one come. I had to breath a few times as I thought I was about to faint. Everything started to spin. We held each other and cried and cried. He explained that he didn't want to worry me during the holidays. I am just devastated, we are devastated.

At the doctor's office the physical exam has shown nothing. Friday night David had a scan, we will known the "verdict" this coming Wednesday. We all know what could be the worst case scenario. We can only hope now that it will be the best case scenario and this is all the primary resurfacing.

We haven't told the children yet as we are waiting for Wednesday meeting and what will happen after that. Depending on the findings, the ENT will send David to Australia for a PET scan. The pronostic is now SO sinister.

For us all this is the really first life challenge and trauma. I never thought that sadness, fear and distress could be so strong emotions to the point where I am now physically sick. The emotions are so overpowering. I am trying to tell myself that I will be strong for david and the kids but I am just stunt, like I can't move. I can only hope that I will find the strenght somewhere, somehow and very soon.

In the meantime, I will try to find information on treatments available for recurrence considering the worst case scenario and the best one. We don't believe in god so we can only cross my fingers. As so many of us, I feel that my life, our lives is a nightmare.

love, marie-lyne

Wife of David, 44yo, SCC-BOT-R) mod. rad. ND in Jan 06. 35x standard RT from Feb-April 06. Recur on L) side same level in Sept 06 with mod rad ND. 1/48 node positive SCC + 1/48 positive micropapillary carcioma consistant with thyroid CA.