Nycgrl,
Welcome!! Sorry to have to welcome you this way. My thoughts and prayers will include you and del.
Dysfunctional family...welcome to the club! You'll fit in here just fine in that case. The people here are wonderful, informative, caring and occasionally some dysfunction pops up. Fire away with your experiences and questions. You'll get plenty of advice and first hand experience on almost anything.
As the primary caregiver you will also have your own issues and we have plenty who can chime in and help you out. Your role is a tough one so my first advice is Take Care of You! Get your rest, eat right and look after yourself.
This wonderful family will be here to support you.

God bless you and your family.

Mike