Hi Caryn, don't apologize this is a very difficult time for you and everyone gets discouraged at some point. Please don't stop the treatments, but it does sound like you need better pain control and symptom management. The fentanyl patch is very effective for pain if they haven't given you that ask for it. It is started at 25 or 50 and increased by the doctor until they find the right dose for you. Also ask them if Neuronton would help you as mouth pain is often neurogenic in nature. It worked well for Jack in combination with the fentanyl patch. The moutwash didn't help Jack during his radiation but lidocaine gel applied with a q-tip to the mouth sores gave temporary relief. Dead cells are flushed from your body through hydration, and 2-3 quarts of water is recommended. Are they also doing that through your port? It's in addition to the TPN. Is there a reason they didn't put a peg tube in?
Good luck and keep going, this will get better.
Regards JoAnne