I had a mini meltdown yesterday about all this. wondering how much i should be responsible for his care as he doesn't seem to want to get well. I talked with the oldest son as the two younger ones want nothing to do with all this. He said he was struggling too. he said you can't make someone want to get better. But we also do not know how much he is comprehending or if he is just being his old difficult self. Hard to say.

He did 8 oz of water the whole day while i was gone. He did do 5 boxes of formula. I stood over him as he wasn't doing any more water on his own tonight and gave him 16 more oz of water. I told him that tomorrow...he will do at least 32 oz of water before 5 pm. I will be around more so I'm going to be on him to get this done. I told him if he waits until late at night to get water in, he will be up during the night needing to go to the bathroom.

I'm giving him until Friday to get this together and if he does not, I'm calling the cancer center again and telling them how it really is since he deceived them the other day. I want them to hospitalize him so that he is accountable 24/7 to a nurse he would be afraid to stand up to. He has free counseling but he calls counseling psychobabble and just has lied in the past...it was a waste of everyone's time. As I've said before, pride is going to kill him before the cancer does.

thanks for listening. this has been the hardest week for me during this whole procedure. I"m used up. I did go to the doctor for myself today as I have to do self-care. The stress has really taken a toll on my adrenal glands. Doctor said with all the crazy (there's so much more than this going on in my life), I'm really in pretty good shape. I told her I have wonderful support people keeping me going. Some are on here, some in real life. I am blessed.