Welcome to OCF, Suzanne! Im sorry to read about what you are going thru. We will do our best to help you with info and support.
I understand your frustration with your current ENT and their wait and see plan. Unfortunately we have seen this before with other members, but usually when its for a noncancerous diagnosis. I know its not easy to have that kind of stress added to everything else you are going thru. I suggest seeking out another ENT (at another practice) who specializes in treating oral cancer patients. Take all your records along to make the new ENT aware of everything you have going on and all your tests. You need to find an oncologist preferably at a comprehensive cancer center (CCC). With your other medical issues (and lack of trust in current ENT) a CCC in my opinion would be the very best place for you. Plus they use a team based approach so all the docs are on the same page. A new, experienced ENT should be available there as a member of your team.
As far as pain management goes, have you been to a pain specialist yet? They have many options that could help you with the Subpxone. That type of doctor should be available at a CCC too.
We're available to help you get thru this. If you have questions please dont hesitate to ask. We're all in this together and you are no longer alone since you have found OCF. Heres a few links to help you get started...
NCI list of CCCsUS News Best Hospitals ListOCF main site --- Diagnosis OCF main site --- Treatment 
