I have been reading this forum since I found it about 2 weeks ago. It is time for me to step out of the shadows and introduce myself.

My name is Jessica. I am the caregiver to my husband, John. John is 53 and was recently diagnosed with oral cancer in his cheek, where the jaw hinges together. It is not HPV. He has never smoked or chewed tobacco and is a very light, recreational drinker. At first we thought a little surgery, a little radiation and back to life as usual. HA! After many tests, we now know that the tumor has grown into the muscle and into the bone. We were told stage 3 or 4. And no one has clarified. I should ask, but I don't want to hear the answer. Surgery is not an option at this time. From looking at the scans, they tell us it is in 1 lymph node. We have also been told that nothing shows up anywhere else in his body.

He had a port and PEG tube put in 2 days ago. He will start Chemo and radiation on Monday. He will have 3 chemo treatments (Cisplatin) on days 1, 22 and 43. And 45-50 radiation treatments.

Nutrition has been an issue for us already, as he hasn't been able to open his mouth normally for many, many weeks. I have been doing my best to prevent him from losing any more weight prior to treatment. I have made ChristineB's shake for him numerous times already. We are hoping to put off using the PEG until absolutely necessary.

Emotionally he is at a real low. At first, communication was difficult for us. We have been working on that. He is sad, scared, frustrated and more. You all know and understand. I'm trying to find ways to lift his spirits and have some "normal", but it is increasingly difficult. I am worried that his emotional state will hinder his treatments. We have 2 daughters. Both leaving for college during the treatments. One is a rising junior and the other will be a freshman. They are handling this as best they can. I have tried to be positive in the things that I tell them, but I also want them to understand that this is bad and that their dad is in a fight for his life.

I'm sorry that this is long and I know I tend to ramble on. I hope to find support here. In a safe place. Amongst people who have been there, done that.
~Jessica