Im very sorry to hear you havent been doing well and you had another recurrence this year. The surgery you described is a major one! Recovery from that can be a very long road.

Its not easy to avoid worrying about having the cancer return again, especially after what you have been thru. A recurrence is the biggest fear we all have. I used to be so spooked about having a recurrence that I wouldnt even read anything in the Recurrence section. Now I look back and realize there wasnt anything that I could have done to prevent it from happening. Maybe it would help if you try to concentrate on things within your control. Many patients (caregivers too) seek a therapist to help them manage their fears. In the US some counselors work primarily with cancer patients. Would it be an option to find someone to speak with from your treatment center?

Hang in there!