That's not a lengthy post. It's good for you to get the detail down and gives us a clearer picture. I find the act of writing things down here therapeutic in itself.

I'm so sorry that your mother has such a poor prognosis and like you hope that another doctor might see things differently. Quality of life and pain relief are important at whatever stage we are on in this process.

Best wishes:)

1996, ovarian cancer surgery + cisplatin and taxol.
September, 2007, SCC of left lateral tongue. Excision.
October, 2009 recurrence in scar tissue, T1NOMO. Free flap surgery from left wrist - neck dissection. 63 year old New Zealander. No chemo, no RT.
February, 2014. New primary in left buccal mucosa. Marginal mandibulectomy, neck dissection, right arm free forearm flap. T1N0M0 but third occurrence and some areas of concern: RT started 8 April and finished 19 May.