Hi Sherry, a recurrence is so difficult to deal with. I know. We have been there.
The good news is that it seems there are no distant metastases. So this is still basically a local, or regional , recurrence. You have options still to treat this which is fantastic.
I also think that you should be asking your team more questions. Ask for the results of your CT/PET. You should know this. Ask exactly what your treatment plan is. What exactly they are proposing to do with this surgery? What is the expected recovery like? Will you need a feeding tube? A trach tube?
Have you considered getting a second opinion? Preferably from a Comprehensive Cancer Center. Research has proven that CCC' s have better outcomes for their patients.
I wish you strength for this next phase of treatment. You can do this.
Tammy

Caregiver/advocate to Husband Kris age 59@ diagnosis
DX Dec '10 SCC BOT T4aN2bM0 HPV+ve.Cisplatin x3 35 IMRT.
PET 6/11 clear.
R) level 2-4 neck dissection 8/1/11 to remove residual node - necrotic with NED
Feb '12 Ca back.. 3/8/12 total glossectomy/laryngectomy/bilat neck dissection/partial pharyngectomy etc. clear margins. All nodes negative for disease. PEG in.
March 2017 - 5 years disease free. Woohoo!