Hi Will - welcome to the family. We've all been in your shoes, we know how you feel. Most of us turned out to have oral cancer but we still got through it, and so will you, whatever it turns out to be.

Maintaining a positive attitude and preventing worry from controlling you is your goal right now. You mentioned in your first post that you have sleepless stress-outs, so I expect that worry is really working on you in a negative way. Do I have it, how bad will it be, will I get better, what is the rest of my life going to be like. Do those sound familiar? We've all faced exactly those questions.

Early on in my cancer journey I met a forum member named Bart. He had many recurrences over a lot of years, but still he was able to maintain a positive attitude and to help others and me especially. The short version of his message was - it will be what it will be - nothing you do will change that - worrying about it won't help (and will probably make it worse) - so don't worry. Yes, that's easier said than done, but it's true and deep down inside you know it. If you have cancer, you and we will face it together after diagnosis is made. If you don't have cancer, then you dodged a major bullet and got to meet some interesting people who weren't as lucky as you.

You don't know you have cancer, you may or may not have it. If you do, we will be here taking every step of your journey with you. Others did the same for us, so we now pay it forward for other new members.

January 2 is a long way away when you want and need to know the answer today. Nothing you do is going to speed that answer up. So, use this Christmas season to do something positive for someone else. Find someplace to volunteer some of your time. Spend some quality time with friends or family. Read that good book you've been meaning to start for awhile, but didn't. Most importantly, keep you mind busy in a positive way, giving it little time to wander back to your worries.

If you want to get some specific knowledge on how to prevent worry from controlling you, do a search on the forum for Bart.

We got through this, you will too.

take care,
Tony

Tony, 69, non-smoker, aerobatics pilot, bridge player/teacher, avid dancer (ballroom, latin, swing, country)

09/13 SCC, HPV 16, tonsillectomy, T2N0.
11/13 start rads, no chemo
12/13 taste gone, dry mouth,
02/14 hair slowly returning
05/14 taste the same, dry sinuses, irrigation helps.
01/15 food taste about 60% returned, dry sinuses are worse in winter.
12/20 no more sinus problems, taste pretty good