I am very sorry to hear this. I do not think your surgeon should be saying this to you without a PET and a biopsy.
I would be getting myself to a Comprehensive Cancer Center for a second opinion. I also think the decision on whether there are any treatment options needs to be made by a full tumour Board. Not just the surgeon. The Tumour Board consists of Surgeons, Radiation Oncologists and Chemo Oncologists. All treatment options are considered when looking not only at your Scans , but also examining you, and taking into account the past history and biopsy results.
When my Husband had his recurrence , I went into a complete panic. I was stunned. I had to learn to breathe and take a deep breath. Take this 1 day at a time. Get yourself some counselling . I found that helped me enormously. I also took a night time sleeping pill so that I could sleep, otherwise my mind raced and I cried all night.
So, I strongly urge you to get that second opinion and at a CCC. Advocate strongly for your Man. Breathe .
You will get through this.
Tammy.

Caregiver/advocate to Husband Kris age 59@ diagnosis
DX Dec '10 SCC BOT T4aN2bM0 HPV+ve.Cisplatin x3 35 IMRT.
PET 6/11 clear.
R) level 2-4 neck dissection 8/1/11 to remove residual node - necrotic with NED
Feb '12 Ca back.. 3/8/12 total glossectomy/laryngectomy/bilat neck dissection/partial pharyngectomy etc. clear margins. All nodes negative for disease. PEG in.
March 2017 - 5 years disease free. Woohoo!