Hello fellow caregivers and survivors,

I've been off the radar for a while, but in long enough to read about and take advantage of the University of Maryland journaling/sharing opportunity. By the way, the writing helped me tremendously in being aware of my feelings before and after I wrote. Kudos to the people involved in that project!

So, the squamous cells made an appearance on my husban's neck just nine months after the surgery that removed part of the right and bottom side of the tongue.

A neck dissection that was performed on October 13. Only one lymph node out of 14 was compromised. The surgery took nearly four hours, but the doctor took a biopsy of the tongue that looked risky, checked the area thoroughly incuding the voice box and found nothing bad.

We came home the same day. There was a draing tube for a week, followed by the doctor's suggestion to see an oncologist. In the doctor's opinion, no radiation was necessary because the lymp node looked contained with no ramifications to other sites but radiation is not his expertise. Dr. said it was my husband's decision to take radiation or not, but the oncologist could give a more educated recommendation.

With the doctor's comments of 'you probably don't need it' we visited the oncologist who had a completely different idea. She saw potential risks that would take chemo and radiation if my husband decided not to act now. Radiation is in the near future, and the ball started rolling. My husband is anxious.

Monday, there's a CT scan on the schedule, and then they'll tell us when my husband needs to see the dentist, and so on and so forth. Lots of hurry up and wait.

My approach is to follow my husband's lead in what he needs. I realize many times what he needs is to be alone, and I tend to be annoyingly 'helpful'.

I would welcome your input.