Im so very sorry you and your mother are going thru this! Being far away it must be very frightening and frustrating for both of you.

Only thru a biopsy can a tumor be confirmed to be positive for cancer. If she has a lump and swelling near her ear then yes that can cause her balance to be off.

As far as treatment decisions its a very personal family decision. Ive seen all kinds of situations with elderly patients. Some fare very well and go on to have many happy, healthy years ahead. Other patients will not do so well. Its a very individual decision.

If at all possible, are you able to go help your mother with this? It sounds like she could use a good advocate in her corner to help her with everything. This sounds to me like her situation would greatly benefit from having you there, even if its just to see things with your own eyes instead of second hand knowledge.

She could be weakened due to her intake. If her intake isnt enough (especially if she has cancer) then she will not have much strength or stamina. Are you able to discuss her diet with the staff at her center? Maybe they have a dietician who can help to boost her intake to help her regain some strength.

Best wishes!