I was diagnosed December 2012 and had most of my upper palate removed and now I have a hole directly into the sinus. I was clear nodes and did have radiation. I came through it all very well. I felt the same when I found out. I did get some Xanax to get me through until my surgery. I have not taken it for over a year, however, I was grateful when I had it when I needed it most. Some big decisions need to be made. I still cry sometimes when I allow myself to worry but I focus on living the best I can. Get through the treatment - that is step one. Start there and come back here for step 2 - Living with it.