hello all, I wanted to know what will my life be like after the neck dissection that is coming up very fast. My doctor said that he will know how extensive the surgery will be only after he had me on his table with a gash in my left neck. Say it becomes clear that it has to be a Radical neck dissection, what might I expect? I am being strong for my whole family that tell me just to keep a good attitude,"you'll be fine"! Well hello? I have recurrent cancer. The first time around was a walk in the park really compared to some of the stories I've read about. even though I was staged at level 4 SSC of Toncil the first time around. But this time it feels so much more real. This time RSSC with met to left neck is what I have to deal with. I don't think my family knows how bad my odds are. Don't get me wrong I am very hopeful and taking care of what I have to. But I keep thinking this will be the last family bbq that I will be for lack of a better phrase, "In tact". I am so worried about the fact that I am HIV+ and the last treatment hit my numbers hard. And now that their starting to inch up. I am worried about the annisteshia I don't care about the spelling right now.I been on one sort of benzodieasapine or another for 20 years (daily use) And I take suboxone which is opiate replacement therapy without the daily treks to the methadone clinic. so I have tolerance like a moe foe. So that's tolerance to tranquilazers and opiates. What if I wake up? That cant be pretty. And will they be able to control my pain? My mind has been altered by these medications for years and years. I don't know that they can overcome my tolerance. A am really hoping that out there their is a addiction speiselist who likes to write prescriptions. So if you were his patient or the patient of some similar doctor will you let me know how things went . And I know that no one can tell me for sure , there are so many variables . Somewhere in the ballpark would set well with me. Thanking you, Shawn U.





f