Today is 7 months from my release from the hospital after surgery. To be honest, I didn't think I would still be spending time on this forum, but I am finding that this is the one place I can feel that people truly understand the mind set.

I have been thinking a lot about my future, and my past, especially after hearing about Charm.

I am exceedingly grateful that my treatment was as limited as it was (at least for now). I won't lie and say that thoughts of recurrence don't play a part in my life. It doesn't control my life, but it is always there in the back of my mind, like an insidious little spider just waiting to pop into the forefront.

I am forever changed by this experience. In some ways for the better. I am more thoughtful towards others who are going through their own issues (regardless of what they are). I take more time to tell my friends and family how much I love them. I appreciate my life in a way that really can't be understood unless you have actually faced your own mortality. In all those ways I am better. I will, however, always feel just a little apart from those closest to me, and for that reason, I am so thankful for this forum, and the support it provides.

I just wanted to share that with everyone, and let you all know that even if I don't post, I am here and reading up on you all, and I think of you all often, taking strength from yours, and hopefully, once in a while, sending a little bit back.