Today is 7 months from my release from the hospital after surgery. To be honest, I didn't think I would still be spending time on this forum, but I am finding that this is the one place I can feel that people truly understand the mind set.

I have been thinking a lot about my future, and my past, especially after hearing about Charm.

I am exceedingly grateful that my treatment was as limited as it was (at least for now). I won't lie and say that thoughts of recurrence don't play a part in my life. It doesn't control my life, but it is always there in the back of my mind, like an insidious little spider just waiting to pop into the forefront.

I am forever changed by this experience. In some ways for the better. I am more thoughtful towards others who are going through their own issues (regardless of what they are). I take more time to tell my friends and family how much I love them. I appreciate my life in a way that really can't be understood unless you have actually faced your own mortality. In all those ways I am better. I will, however, always feel just a little apart from those closest to me, and for that reason, I am so thankful for this forum, and the support it provides.

I just wanted to share that with everyone, and let you all know that even if I don't post, I am here and reading up on you all, and I think of you all often, taking strength from yours, and hopefully, once in a while, sending a little bit back.

So nice of you to check in with us, Tina. I'm glad things are going well for you. My life has changed, too - in all the ways you mentioned because of my son's survival and the support we received here. I don't post as often, either but I see so many other wonderful survivors and caregivers helping each other, sharing their compassion and knowledge and hope. And when we lose someone as special as Charm, we share our tears, too. I still miss him so much.

Tina,
So glad you are doing well. I don't think "thoughts of recurrence" will ever go away, but they do diminish over time.
Things are indeed changed forever for us all. But you and I can be grateful, that for now [insert"thoughts of recurrence" here] we have been spared the burn and poison portions of the gruesome treatment.
My best to you.

Good news!

Hi Tina,
I think of you often when I am on the forums. Wondered how you were doing. I'm glad you checked in.
Kevin and I were just talking about this the other day. We don't obsess about it, but it's always there lurking...I know we are all in the same boat. Luckily we all seem to keep busy and I think that makes life much easier to handle.
Good to hear from you,
Kathy

Hugs! a victory for you is a victory for all of us.

Well, like the signature line says...kickin' ass, taking names, and kickin' them again just for good measure.

By the way, hit the milestone of 40 years young a few weeks ago...went to Vegas, yep, did it up right.

I had my 40th in Vegas too! A few years ago though....

Great to hear you are doing well Tina and striving!

Sounds like a fun birthday. Keep kickin' it.

Cancer is indeed a life-changing experience, for both patient and caregiver(s). Much as we would like things to return to what they were pre-diganosis, they never will. I learned a few life lessons from my experience; today, my head is in a slightly different place from five months ago. Good luck and all the very best to you, Tina.