There was a discussion about this back in September. It's called Sex after Cancer and is under After Treatment Issues. Point of view coming from both sides...male & female and patient & caregiver.

I'm ALOT older than you and have been in a relationship with Chris for 6 years and we don't live together. The whole diagnosis (before any treatment) scared the hell out of him and I truly think that he was going to walk away and not look back when I told him what the treatment would be like. I should say we weren't getting along to well at that point!! I didn't see him until I had been home from the hospital for a couple of weeks and by that time, I had lost 25 pounds plus they pulled all of my teeth with my initial surgery. I ended up losing a total of 70 pounds (had the excess to lose). I was just adorable (just kidding).... 70 pounds lighter, no hair or teeth!!

It took awhile but I think he got a new insight as to who I was by how I was handling all of this (no caregiver and driving myself to all of my treatments).

I think it was about 3 weeks into treatment, things started getting back to our old "normal". I missed him and he missed me and one thing I wanted more than anything is to have some time where cancer and the treatment weren't consuming me and we were able to achieve that.

Treatment ended on 12/16/09 and I can honestly say that things have never been better between us! The passon and intimacy has reached a whole new level! What a bonus since I never expected him to still be here after treatment and the side effects and my "new attitude"!!

Cathi